I'm singing with the blue sky. (:

2011-09-13T18:51:00.001+08:00

Dear readers of my blog..

You can still find updates on me at;

http://jesusjanetjoy.tumblr.com (Please click)

I won't be closing this blog, just so you guys know. :) But I might not update so often.

-September 11th, I remembered this day. But.. I really don't know if I should wish you. Sorry.

2011-03-03T02:25:00.001+08:00

What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them?

I actually don't really know who reads my blog at all but well.. It would be good if someone comes up to me and say "Hey I'm a reader of your blog, cheer up Jan!" Hahahah, another wishful thinking again huh? Whatever.

See those bold green words up there. Isn't it so true? People always will say they will be there for you, but who really mean it? Maybe for others, there's just people who will forever be there to encourage. But I just don't feel that there's one soul that will do to me. Might sound like I demand too much or whatever.. But before judging me, do you people even tried to understand me? Or perhaps enter my world for one day then start criticising. I really really hate it when people try and talk to me like they know what I am going through and that it's no big deal at all. Why, just why are humans like this?

Do I really have to be mean to people just to protect myself? I feel like I can't do anything right at all. Someone ever told me "I have a heart of gold but the hard boil egg had too." In the end, it's still being eaten up. And is like telling me life is just like this. ): Another told me "If I haven't really reach there, I wouldn't be feeling what I am feeling now." & the fact that I can't really see it positively now, I think I've really reached my limits.. I need a good cry. Will anyone lend me that shoulder and tell me I can lean on them for as long as I want?

2011-03-01T01:07:00.001+08:00

SATURDAY WAS A CRAZYY NIGHT! ):

I really really really do hate all the emo tweets I'm posting but I just can't help it. I think I'll go insane if I don't rant. I'm gonna explode anytime, just one more slash and it'll all flow out like running tap. ); Why do I have to face all these? WHY. I feel so hurt. But there's no arms for me to hold no where for me to run.. I need help with my life! But who, just who can I really trust? D;

`Father, take me away to a far far place where there's just You and me. ); I'm so tired..

2011-02-22T14:06:00.003+08:00

Skipped school today.

The real reason wasnt bec I'm sick lah. I just don't wanna go. I'm really starting to get sick of the things I face everyday. ): Same people, same surrounding and the exact same paranoid/annoyed feeling. & it just adds on each time I'm having to face it again. I have to admit I feel really lonely. I need someone that shows me they are really there for me, not someone that uses words WITHOUT ACTIONS. Actions does speak louder than words, & it cuts like a knife all the time. I'm not invisible and people you need to care about my feelings. I'm a grown up, I have my own set of principles and I want to be myself. Stop telling me what to do and what not to do bec I know what's best for me. This is my life! OMG.This things just top-up to my work load..

H o w t o f o c u s ! ! ! ) ;

2011-01-16T03:22:00.004+08:00

Your promises are like the stars in the sky. (:

Had an awesome Saturday in church! :) Pastor Kong preached an inspiring sermon. It's true that God never fail to keep His promises to us. If I can count the stars in the sky, I can also see the number of God's promises to me. Perhaps I've blinded myself from that for the past one year. Knowing God is always faithful but I choose to focus on the negative. Like what I said, I've been living under my shell for quite awhile.. Time to see the light, the wonderful light of Jesus Christ. It feels good to feel happy again. I felt the the lightness in my heart as I put away expectations and all that distract me from seeing my wonderful life. :)

It's never easy saying giving up in something which I really wanna keep. But I have to put aside that stubborness if it's really not for me. The reason to why I'm not giving up might be that I dont wanna admit I've lost. Refused to admit that I'm wrong to have held on to a red light instead of the green light. Even up till now, I really dont wanna let go. Oh well, Janet has to move on afterall. Right? :) It's really not that difficult, just takes a forgiving heart. Time to set fruitful goals for 2011! I want to make more friends than enemies! HAHAH.

& I mean it, I forgive all those that have hurt me in one way or another. :)

MY B'DAE IS IN 1 days' time! :D
Well, I dont know what feeling I'm exactly having now. Definitely not sad, but not a sure happy too. HAHAH. Somehow interesting things will just happen every year.. Pray for a smooth celebration this year! :) & I'm thankful for all presents recieved and yet to recieved and also all the hardwork in planning surprises for me! :D

I'm gonna confess that 17TH JAN is gonna be AWESOMEE! :DD

Gal 6:9
"& let us not grow weary in doing good. for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

`You are my Father, provider, You're my Deliverer. :).

2011-01-12T11:55:00.008+08:00

School's started, & this week is totally TIRING.

Lessons starts 8AM everyday except Monday at 9AM, which doesnt really make a huge difference. ): Projects & assignments aren't seem to improve situations toooo. I WANT HOLIDAY MAN, like it's the only time I can have my quality sleep! SIGHS. Besides ranting, I can only still live with it right? =/ & I haven't include CCA & work! OMG. *JUST KILL ME*

I know it's the start of the year only right but nothing really seem to brighten me up at all. It's abt 4 days to _. I hope it's gonna turn out good? Really feel like asking some people to go too, but guess I wont. If they care, they will ask right? Enough of always making the effort end up in the drain..

I'm really so tired to even continue ranting! Man, looking at the clock, it's time to turn in so very soon. T.T

I might lose my mind for a while, but I'll be fine.
Have you heard there's this thing that heals, and it's called time.
Clock can tick away, happy will fall in place.
I know, my heart will break, a new me will fill this space.
'coz I know you can't stay, so I won't be waiting, anticipating for the fall.
We had our time, baby, so I won't be waiting, anticipating for the call.
Turn it up, turn it up for the people that say "we're moving on and we'll be okay".
Turn it up, turn it up for the people that say "we're moving on and we'll be okay".

-I still kinda miss J. ): WHYOHWHY.

`You are my freedom, Jesus You're the reason.

2010-12-29T14:17:00.001+08:00

2010-12-21T15:34:00.002+08:00

HELLO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL READERS! :)
As promised, I'll updatee on ZOUKOUT! :D

ZOUKOUT ON 111210!
I had FUN that night! :D Thanks to ALVIN TAN for the ticket! Never been to one before, & I enjoyed myself. :) Heeeeeh. By the time we entered Siloso, it's a little past 9.. went to Singtel booth, freee drinks all the way till 11+! :D Awesomeeeee! We had a total of 31 cups of liquor/beer. Shiokkk, Hahahahah.

Ohoh, we met two awesome friends, Alvin C & Alan! Same name as alvin tan! HAHAH. We slacked at charger booth then VIP area. :) Met an ex fairsian, Kathi that night too! She happened to be a friend of Alvin C, they went overseas to study in the same school. Niceee. Wasn't a bad catch up with familiar faces! :D Hahah.

David Guetta was awesome that night according to alot of the people that stayed.. Somehow I didnt enjoyed his DJ-ing that night. Perhaps I wasn't really in the mood. =/ Sighs. I lost Alvin T & Alan while they're going to central stage. Later I got pretty scared bec there was no reception at all to contact them. Felt kinda lost, probably that's the reason why I felt down after I found them. Man.. Hope he comes back to SG. :)

Alvin T & me broke record man! We walked from Siloso all the way to Vivo! SUPER TIRING I TELL YOU. Almost wanted to faint.. somemore with my injured ankle! HAHAH. Kinda proud of ourselves! LOL. But my mood was rather bad all the way out till I'm home. Cabs are like extinct vehicle at Vivo taxi stand. Goodness! Waited an hour plus for one bloody cab! :@ :@ :@ Oh well, at least the whole event wasn't exactly that bad not including those !@#$#% matters. :) HAHAH. I had fun that night still. Heheh. ^^ So this mark the end of Zoukout 2010! :D

I was too stubborn to have still hope that changes will take place, I just couldn't let go, at all. ); I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Totally! You're a bastard! You'll never want me anymore, that's a dead fact. So I'm just gonna forget you... G o o d b y e J , this time I'm walking forward, dont wanna hold back anymore.

`Great is Your faithfulness to me, I don't want to take it for granted..

2010-12-05T04:26:00.000+08:00

IT'S 4AM!

My bladder's almost busting but I wanna finish this post! :) I'm so super tired now but I believe it's worth staying up to accompany B2F2F2! (Y)

Actually... I got no idea how am I suppose to survive later! I dont think I'll sleep at all! I hope I will have strength to brace through tmr! :)

& OH, my ankle's really killing me! Sprained it since Wednesday and it's still swollen and more painful each day! ); Arggghhhh. Hate past injuries.. like make it worse every time I sprain again. Hope this poor ankle recovers soon, it's really hard to walk!

Really thank God I found my wallet man! It's like a miracle! I lost it at Jurong, and it came back to me all the way at my house which was River Valley! How awesome is that? God is really AMAZING! :D I can never stop loving God! I will praise Him not only the good, but bad times too! (L)

Alright, I wanna run to the toilet nowwww! :)

`God, You are forever amazing in my heart! I wanna lay down my life for You my entire life!

2010-11-26T01:41:00.002+08:00

MY BLOG NEEDS A RIVIVAL!
New skin, new posts, a whole new lifeee! :)

I've removed my Twitter box on this precious blog of mine. Reason being, I've set my Twitter acc to private. :) However, if you're on my Facebook you'll still be able to see my updates! :D So you people who dont have a Facebook acc but wanna stay closer to my lifee, go create one! HAHAH. I dont mind having more friends! ^^

Time really flies, my last post was like 12 days ago! Oh well. Life goes on right? But it hasnt been good still. ); I seriously need to rantttttt! I really hate the fact that I dont have a single day of rest! D;

Monday ;
0930 am - 0400 pm - School

Tuesday ;
0800 am - 0500 pm - School
0800 pm - 1000 pm - Choir

Wednesday ;
0800 am - 0500 pm - School

Thrusday ;
0930 am - 0400 pm - School
0500 pm - 0700 pm - Swimming (CCA)

Friday ;
0800 am - 1200 pm - School
0300 pm - 0700 pm - Work
0730 pm - 1000 pm - CGM

Saturday ;
(If serving, have to reach at 0200 pm)
0330 pm - 0530 pm - Church

Sunday ;
1200 pm - 0600 pm - Workkk

Except my church activities, other activities really drains me! ); I dont wanna fall sick but my body seems to be dying on me.... I need more motivations. So dear readers, please encourage me more! Hahahah. Text me a simple message whenever I come across your mind kaeee! It'll make my day. :D At least, I'm not giving up lahh, I'm just super DEAD TIRED. But whatever life may bring, I'll fight till the end! :) So yes, I've shared my sorrows hereeee. Though it doesn't really help cheer me much, at least I know someone will know what I am going through..

& I need to turn in soon! *YAWNSSSSSSS* );

JTJW, why is it so damn hard to get over you?? WHY. You're such a bastard aren't you? If you're not, then where are you! I don't know why I have to feel sad again and again every time I'm reminded of you when YOU DON'T CARE AT ALL! I wish I can say I hate you.. But I just can't! What should I do................... it's a fact that you don't want me anymore. );

`I know Lord, You'll save the best for me.

2010-11-14T16:29:00.005+08:00

I'M SO TIRED. ): I missed staying at home the whole day. Ever since school started, there's not a day I can really rest.. Sighs. I'm not exactly unhappy with the busy schedule everyday, just kinda miss the days when I can slack all I want. HAHAH. Oh well! Besides that, I haven't really sat down and focus on my revisions too.. =/ Thank God for Sundays! :D At least I can study. :) Heheh. Got to really start focusing alrdy, dont wanna waste this term! FOCUS JANET.

Last week was like hell in school. Haven't really been feeling well the last few weeks, dont know what's wrong with me lah! Stomachache, flu... ): SIAN. To top it up, this idiotic classmate of mine made me feel worse. I shoudn't have walked away without doing anything lah! Shit you lah! It's like bloody second time you get on my nerves. Since this friendship to you is like nothing, I don't give a damn about you too. We're through.

BUT FRIDAY ROCKS. ;D
Even though I had a super packed day, the night just totally made me feel like it's all worth it. :)

0800 -1200 ; School
0300 - 0700 ; Work
0730 - 1030 ; CG
1130 - 0430 ; Phuture! ^^v

Heh, met wenjun! Together with his army friends, I had fun! ;D He's in Taiwan noww for NS. Hahahah, poor boy! I thought my legs gonna die when everything ended. Heels are killers~

Saturday was another awesomee day. ;)
Service with Pastor Kong rockk, met up with Alvin & gang after that! Had Just Asia. ^^ And then home sweet home!

& Today, I'm stuck at work. 1 and a half more hours before I can be off! Gonna study awhile before heading out! Meeting Deck 5 & gang for dinner I think. :)

Everyone just keep telling me to move on.. but I guess I'll take a very very long time before I can get over you. It's funny when I can miss you like you're my 1 year friend when I only known you for a month plus. I remember every place I been to with you, everything I did with you.. I got no idea where I have such strong feelings for you, you made me smile but you made me cry too.. Even though I don't want to, I know I have to give you up. Bec I believe, if you're meant to be in the end you'll still be here. I hope you're doing fine... :)

`God, You're in control. :)

Miranda Cosgrove - Kissin U - Official Music Video

2010-11-09T02:05:00.010+08:00

Miranda Cosgrove ; Kissing U

-Couldn't post the vid, dont know why. =/
`Click HERE to hear. :)

Sparks fly its like electricity
I might die when I forget how to breathe
You get closer and there's nowhere in this world I'd rather be
Time stops like everything around me is frozen
And nothing matters but these few moments when you opened my mind to things I never seen

Cause when I’m kissing you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I’ve been trying to find
Falls right into place you’re all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I’m kissing you
When I’m kissing you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I’ve been asking in my head
Like are you the one? Should I really trust?
Crystal clear it becomes when I’m kissing you

Past loves they never got very far
Walls up make sure I guarded my heart
And I promised I wouldn't do this till I knew it was right for me
But no one no guy that I've met before
Can make me feel so right and secure
And have u noticed I loose my focus
And the world around me disappears

I've never felt nothing like this
You're making me open up
No point even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like its love

`The lyrics just simply reminds me of J.

Yesterday was really exhausting for me. );

Firstly, I couldn't sleep the previous night until bout 4am! All thanks to Paranormal Activity 2 !! Haven't gotten over it until nowwwww. SIAN TTM. Oh well! I can only wait for time to wash away all those disturbing scenes.

Next day, reached school at about 10.. late for S&W. But still manage to run my 2.4KM. I totally have no mood to run man.. Forced myself to finish the pathetic 6 rounds and I didn't do well. 15:45, got a D. Sighs. But at least it's over now. :) Rest of the day was equally lethagic. =/ Fell asleep for the first hour of LOP! ): I was way tooo tired. Got to burn more candles for this semester alrdy, wanna do well!

Ended school at 4, head home and then out again. Went dinner with Joseph Bud followed by help-out at Mikki's shop for this coming Sunday's competition. :)

All you people who are reading this, if you're gonna be free this Sunday, 14 Nov, please drop by Bugis Street Level 2!! :D You'll know what's happening when you're there!!

I had a great time there helping to touch up the flower paintings. ;) Heheh. Glad I was able to help!

As for now, I'm supposedly to be studying.. But I'm really worn out to be absorbing anything into my head. I hope by God's grace I can pass the quiz. =X I still have time for me to read through on my way to school tomorrow morning.. I hope I hope I can burn everything down my throat! Hahah.. Whatever it is, I'll do my very bestttt! I'm dozing off so soon! Goodnight everyone! ;)

`You're my Great Big Daddy God. :)

2010-11-07T16:37:00.003+08:00

"No guys is ever worth your tears, if he's worth it, it should be tears of joy NOT sorrow."
-Kuan, you're right. But I can't help it..

I think my life is really quite drama right. I always have to go through things that I never imagined will happen to me. & I'll always ask WHY. I'll never doubt my friends, bec a full trust is what I'll offer.. Maybe I'm wrong to place so much trust on humans, wounds are what follows me in the end without fail.. They become scars and made me fear of drawing close to anyone again. & I become some anti-social being which totally isn't Janet Ong. I hate this! But blames who? -----> Janet Ong. I still believe things will change, I just needed some undisturbed rest and Tender.Loving.Care. Thank God for at least unfailing encouragements from awesome people ard me! *LOVE*

I think I'll never forget you in my life, you're a lesson learnt for me.. It is so hard to believe that you actually are someone I didn't believe to be. I cried for days.. & what's the point? Holding a thought that you're not a bad guy, and I'm hoping you'll at least still come back and prove that you're not. Truth is that, if you really value me, you'll find that I'm worth fighting for. So now the answer is obvious. Time for me to wake up from this fairy-tale-like dream.. I won't hate you, bec you still hold a place in my heart. What a joke right, if you think I'm stupid you're right. I'm just purely like that. If you ever get to read this, I wish I can still be there for you if you need some day.. As a good friend and nothing else. Take very good care of yourself J. :)

Alright, enough of rantings! Really time to move on.. no matter how hard it is, I'm gonna overcome it! You can do it Janet!! God loves you and He'll bring you through!! :D

2010-10-31T15:38:00.010+08:00

Again & again.

睡美人想者谁想到失眠
空荡荡是你给我的堡垒
我不说只希望你能了解
就算没有王子想你在身边
睡美人想什么想到失眠
我愿意拥有公主的眼泪
安静的等这你每一夜
喜欢就是这样酸酸甜甜的汁味

I'm just stupid enough I guess. Can I not trust anyone anymore? I don't wanna admit I'm naive but that answer is obvious. I know I'm selfish too, I needed someone to be there. But, I'm not a toy! I don't want to be thrown away after use. );

2010-09-22T03:00:00.002+08:00

No matter how hard life is, I will still have to move on.

I've been thinking alot these days, more than I ever did in my whole life. I struggled to face this stupid truth that I didn't have to bear if it weren't for him. After all, I can't bring myself to hate him at all. I'm just utterly disappointed. He used to be a special one in my heart when I was young. He's always one that never failed to surprise me with small little gifts. He made me smile. Just like any sisters, I love him dearly.. But everything had changed. He's never the one who will make me smile again. );

I finally understood what's a real down in life when the news broke. It pains my heart so much to see those tears rolled down from my dad's cheeks. If only I'd work harder so I could make him proud. As much as I blamed my brother, I blamed myself too. But perhaps it's a blessing in disguise?

I never imagined to have found a job so fast at a time like this. It's really one big miracle for me. There's nothing else I felt except to adore His amazing grace. Despite all that I've done.. Not even started to repent yet, He choose to bless. God just once again showed me He is real, and undoubtfully love me for who I am. This life is really hard, but He never gave up. Not even once. I know I still hasn't gotten over this truth I've been hiding all the time, but I'd be too selfish to cling on to my stubbornness.

"God will never give me a burden that's too heavy for me to carry."
I have to agree and believe that it is true. I thank God that I haven't given up on life and I thank God for friends that are willing to lend me their listening ears. You guys won't know how much it mattered by just listening to me pour out this huge burden. At least I can start breathing again.. Thank you my beloveds.

2010-09-13T02:45:00.004+08:00

I'm back from my 25 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, 3km run & 22 stacks of stairs.

Tonight's race really described my emotions and everything I'm going through now. Running never felt as tough as today.. however, I hear God's still small voice reminding me : "Keep hanging on, I am here with you". Honestly, my faith had shattled. Everything just keep on piling up.. I reached a point whereby I don't know how to trust anymore. I really hate life now, I refuse to accept the fact about what I'm gonna be living for the rest of my life.. It's just like a nightmare that I hope it'll be gone once I wake up - But it won't. My dreams are vanished. And the thing that breaks my heart the most is the grief in my dad's heart. I hate to see him this way, and he never reacted this way before. I love my dad so much, seeing him cry literally tears me and it's like my heart is bleeding. What can I do? Nothing. In times like this, I can only pray and watch! I'm hopeless.. ); & Yes, I can encourage myself a 101 times that I'm not a failure. But the fact is I am right? I cannot even do anything to cover the pain in his heart. Do I hate my brother? I don't know. As much as I'm angry and upset with him, he's still my brother right?

I got no idea how am I gonna install everything about ILT into my head but I'm just gonna do it. I cannot afford to screw Wed's paper.. Please fall on me strength! I want to be strong.

2010-09-12T13:36:00.002+08:00

Everything seems so unrealistic to me but yet it's so real. Right in front of me, a truth I really got to accept and face. I don't want to but do I have a choice? I really hate this life I'm living. I don't understand why I have to bear things that no one else does. Friends around me can always live life so easily, I just can't. Life is so unfair. I want to scream, want to rant, even want to run away! But I can't. I have to still put up a brave front and say "I am fine." I'm so tired. Tell me, what should I do? ); Tmr's my paper.. I don't even have confident that I will do well. I really pray for a miracle. Everything is in Your hands, Lord. You will bring me through right?

2010-04-19T02:40:00.000+08:00

Saturday, 17/04/10 ;

Like I always believed and trust, my God is truly wonderful & amazing. (:

Out of all the times I've responded to deliverance Altar calls, it's the very first time I manifested. I felt really awesome after being prayed for. It's like something that's holding me back all along, something that's taking up my breath left my body and my soul felt so light. Like all my burdens totally gone.. in exchange, His love filled me up from head to toe. The breathe that I took in was/is like new breath, a very fresh air that I haven breathed for a long time. With a yes & Amen, I am set free. (:

I'm really touched by the moment when I recalled the one significant thing that God has in my life, & it is the First Love that He gave me. (: I never knew I could come so far in this walk as a Christian & I never knew I could love people and serve them selflessly. All these was because Jesus first loved me. He opened up my heart with His tangible caring hands. He took away all the barriers that stopped love from entering me. I know and I know it is not by my own strength that I can hang on to this faith so long. It is that Love that's sustaining me all the time. God is good. (:

He never leaves me, & I am so sure that I will never leave His house. It is where I wanna spend my life in, it is where I will forever serve. I love my Abba Father and my only best friend, Jesus.

You took my pain and carried Your cross
You kept all my teardrops and shed them like Yours
You felt all my grief on Calvary's hill
Your heart was so broken, now I can be healed

Jesus loves me
Calls me His own
Jesus loves me
He makes me whole
Jesus loves me
Heart overflows
It is well, it is well within my soul

`I will remember the Cross.

2010-04-15T01:20:00.011+08:00

`You are speaking to me Lord, I hear You.

2010-04-08T14:52:00.004+08:00

April 7, 2010 ;
Another memorable day to remember.

My iPhone is now gone. Like I never expect this will ever happen because it's something that I really treasure and I'll always take extra care of it. Times when I'm bored, it never failed to kept me entertained... nowwww it's GONE. Well, the main reason why I'm sad is because I really blame myself for being so careless. If I'd be more careful, this wouldn't have happened. I guess my dad's surely quite upset with me even though he didn't rant at me. Somehow I felt that if he's fiercer I'll feel better. Hahah. There's nothing wrong with me lah, Just that it usually feels more normal when he rants at me. Oh well..

Met up with B2F2F2 together with Jiexiang & Yilong yesterday afternoon at IKEA. (: Usually I'll be super excite for meatballs but sadly, I'm not. Sighs. & I know the reason is the absence of my phone.. It's certainly pretty unfamiliar as I can't contact people without walking to the nearest public phone I can find. ); But the day wasn't that bad despite missing my phone ALOT ALOT though. We had our meals there and then walk around. (: Saw the cupboard I've been eyeing again.. Hope I can "renovate" my room really soon from now!! Gonna pull my dad to IKEA with me! Heeeheeeeh.

& I wanna thank my beloved B2F2F2 for accompanying me today! :D The time spent with you is always amazing and you ROCK every way in my heart! (: I LOVE YOU!!

So now, before I get a replacement for my phone, I am "Phoneless". If there's any important stuff to notify me by sending me an email on the facebook label at your right hand side. (:

Anyway, some random stuff, I think I really like this photo I edited ;

Please support DECK 5! (:

http://deck5here.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Deck-5/83006625797?ref=ts

`You are truely my most magnificent God. (:

2010-04-02T03:02:00.001+08:00

YOOOOO MY LOVELY READERS,

I promise I'll update soon! :D
I have ALOT of things to blog man!
I hate procrastination but I got to do it again.
Nevertheless, stay tune for my wonderful blog post k!
BE PATIENT WITH ME! (: Lol.

OH, & I WANNA SAY I'M IN LOVE WITH MY LAPTOP!! <>

`Thank You for answering my prayer Lord! (:

2010-03-24T11:03:00.000+08:00

Somehow I'm still grabbing the past..
I just don't wanna let go. I guess I'm afraid to trust again because I feel so hurt.
I wish I was like the past, ever cheerful but I know things have changed.
Humans changed.
I wanna be happy, always smiling at everything in life but ):

You're my First Love
You're my True Love
You're my reason, You are why I breathe
I will give You my devotion
All of me
All of me...

`Lord, bring me home..

2010-03-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

MARCH 14TH, 2010 ;

A day I will never forget.. I am suppose to be really happy but I later realised I made a huge mistake that will forever leave a mark in my dad's heart. I forgot his birthday.

The day started smoothly just like any other days, I woke up lay myself on the sofa awhile and then bathed and changed. I saw crabs in the kitchen toilet, was wondering what's the big occasion that my dad's cooking Chili Crabs for dinner. I went on still not noticing why while he was preparing it.

About 2-4 plus in the afternoon, after the rain stopped, my dad and I set off to the IT Fair as planned. One more traffic light before we reach Suntec, it started pouring again.. Both of our upper part of the body got drenched. My dad ask me to get off the bike at the Convention Centre while he went to find parking slot. I felt really sad to know my dad will get even wetter while he search for parking area..

When we reached the hall, it was obviously cold for my dad. I had my jacket on while he has only a shirt. Reached Acer & Mac booth, after the person spoke about the laptop I actually got a little fed up while trying to explain to my dad some stuff he don't quite understood.

I got no idea what's wrong with me that day, but it's a fact that it was unfilial of me to forget this very important day. I got him drenched just to get my laptop and then still gave him nasty attitude. I really felt it, that pinch on my heart. I just wish I could reverse time at that point of time. ): Sighs. I hope the belated celebration I prepare for him will really touch him.

The Chili Crab tasted the best that day and my dad's sacrificial act will always be at one special corner of my heart. MY DAD'S FOREVER A HERO TO ME.

2009-12-14T23:28:00.000+08:00

-There's a bucket full of tears that I wish I can throw it all out..
I just feel so helpless and there's no one that I can really turn to. ):
I just don't trust people ard me anymore. I hate to be like this.

主每当我软而无力
你的恩典够我用
只要我能够相信
奇迹必会降临

不靠才能不靠势力
只靠神明的能力
只要我能够相信
奇迹必会降临

`I believe You never let go.

2009-12-03T04:05:00.007+08:00

I HAD A FRUITFUL & WONDERFUL DAY ON 2TH DECEMBER. (:
(Even though it's really an exhausting day)

BOO PEOPLES! (: Hahahah. I promised to update the things that happened on this day.

I woke up at 730AM, washed up and off I go heading to my first day at work. (: I followed the instructions to the venue of my work place.. BUT, I got lost as usual. HAHAHAH. I stopped at the wrong bus stop and had to walk quite a distance to look for the place. My work place is near BoonLay, the place where all the ware houses can be found. I still miss the spot like another time even after calling the person up but I found it in the end! Hahah. I was feeling pretty energetic despite having only 3Hrs ought of sleep the previous night. Thank God for that!

The job was pretty tough for females.. but it's doable. Hahahah. It's packing of dog's food, requires quite an amount of physical strength. I find it alright lah. No Pain, No Gain. (:

-Thank you Jac for introducing the job to me! (:

Anyone who's interested can still call or email me! :D

I ended work at 5PM, took a bus back to JP and then to Jeff's house. Thank God for good friends like Jeff! (: I need his bathroom to wash myself up after a day of perspiration! Was sticky and having the feeling of dog food's smell all over me! LOL.

After washing up, a sad thing happened. I accidently tasted durian! ): MAN! His mum offered me edd tarts.. I picked the durian one without knowing it. Thank God I didnt bite a full mouth of it. Hahahah.

-Thanks Jeff! (:

I headed down to church for the Choir Audition after I left his house. After much consideration on joining choir, I decided not to. Despite loving singing, I feel that it is not a ministry that God wants me to serve Him in. (: Still, I wanna go down and support my cell group members. I salute everyone who went down for the audition, I can feel the nervousness in the air when they're waiting for their turns. (: I understand because I'm one who gets nervous in front of people! Hahah. Hope they made it! :D

THE MOST EXCITING JORNEY OF THE DAY STARTS NOW. hahahah.

I left church at about 11PM. While I was on my way to BoonLay interchange with Sheryl, I'm still in contemplation whether to head down to IONS anot.. because I will reach there pretty late.

What's happening is that Citycare is involved in the "WeAreOne" community event. I had registered to help out. We're suppose to dismantle the Lego island and then pack them into bags to distribute them to orphanages. Each bag has required number of different coloured pieces Lego, and we were asked to pack 3000 packets of them. The whole event will be held at IONS.

Finally, I decided to head down as I have registered to help out. Had to keep my word. My ez-link ran out of money so I took bus. After about 10 minutes of the journey, I changed my mind and alighted at the bus stop after Bukit Batok.. I thought I should take the train as I'm alrdy late.

I thought I would be able to make it to the last train to Marina Bay, sadly I missed it. ): I forgot that from Jurong East to Marina Bay has different terminating stations. I saw a train approaching in the direction to MB and thought my hope revived.. I found out that it's actually heading to AMK only after I boarded. -.- Then, I scrolled through my contacts of friends that stayed in RedLine.. Finally, the third person picked up my call! :D Like really, thank God!!

I have to mention that the very nice person that picked up my call was Xavier! He saved me man! I took the last train to Kranji, cabbed down to Yishun and he lent me money to IONS. I really owe him millions of favour already, he's the saviour for my trip to IONS.

-THANK YOU XAVIER PANG!!

Was holding my dinner while all this happened, it fought battle with me too! HAHAH.

Thank God I finally reached IONS before 130AM.. cannot remember the exact time. The experience was like climbing Mount Everest (I'm not sure of the spelling). I'M SERIOUS.

During the packing, man, I was still so energetic! HAHAHAH. I was actually kinda exhausted in the middle of the day alrdy.. with only 3 hours of sleep the previous night, I can still endure. Praise God! (: It was really a fun experience with everyone who were there. We finished packing 2300 packs that night. Though we didn't reach our target, but I believe everyone of us really put in our hearts for it. The children will definitely receive the love that we have put into the bags! :D

It was a wonderful day for me despite all challenges!

CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO READ ABOUT THE EVENT! (:
(PS; I'm in the photo! ;P)
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1022095/1/.html

`You always provide, when I'm at the edge of the mountain. (: I love You my Lord!

2009-11-30T18:26:00.001+08:00

PRAISE THE LORD FOR MY NEW JOB! :D

I know that God is blessing me because in my previous post I wrote;
"I really hope I can find one part time job soon."

I'm truely touched by His amazing grace! (: Once again, He had shown me, despite my unfaithfulness to Him, He stands forever faithful in my life!

GOD IS TRUELY GOOD! :D

They are looking for people urgently.. anyone interested please contact me ASAP! (:
(You can drop me an email if you dont have my contact number, I'll get back to you ASAP. My email is actually located at the FaceBook icon below my photo.)

Venue; A Warehouse near BoonLay, 3 Bus Stops away
Time; 9 AM - 5 PM
Pay; $35 / Day

Alright, I'm gonna prepare myself to catch Mulan at Cathay! :D I'm on a movie marathon lately! HAHAH. hope the show will be good! (:

`The greatest joy in my life is when I know that You are always there for me. (:

2009-11-29T20:14:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD, I'm back blogging after 9 days. (:

First thing first, I'm really blessed by Pastor Kong's latest post. So I'm gonna type it out and hope it'll bless you readers! :D I guess this applies more to my fellow friends who're christians. (:

When Bad things Happen To Good People;

1) Know that God is not angry with you.
2) Realise that you are in a spiritual warfare.
3)Believe that God is ultimately in control.
4) Offer up the sacrifice of praise.
5)Understand that God is seeking to make you better.
6) Develop the capacity to obediently endure.
7) Get ready for the double portion.

if you're interested in reading more, you can go to,
http://www.konghee.com/www/2009/11/when-bad-things-happen-to-good-people/

Secondly, just wanna complain. I'm so longing to get a job after my papers but till now, there's just no response. I was pretty pissed by Havaianas.. I went a month before my last paper to apply for part time there, was told to call them after my paper ended. I went down about two days after my paper to look for the manager and was told that he went for reservist. They ask me to leave my contact down and will ask the manager to contact me when he's back. I was really upset when I found out that the manager's back and I haven recieved any calls from him. What made me mad is that he actually hired another person to replace me. I mean like he had alrdy taken me in before my papers ended.. he's like so !#@$#@%$#%. man! They're so irresponsible. If I'm not desperately seeking for a job I wouldnt be so annoyed. To top it up, holidays had started and now everywhere is looking for only Full-Timers instead of Part-Timers. Full-Time is like at least 6 months of work before I can quit.. I still have school next year.. how to work for 6 months straight? sighs. ): I really hope I can find one part time job soon.

Leaving my worries aside, I'm glad that I went for Overnight Prayer Meeting on Friday. (:

BL ZONE OPM WAS AWESOME! (x

My very first OPM was like more than two years ago and I remembered I almost fell down bec I fell asleep while worshipping! HAHAH. But this time, I didnt. God's presence was very strong.. especially during the Altar Call, I literally tremble as I felt the move of God. & near the end of the session, I finally took up the courage of going up on stage to pray. It's always the stage fright and nervous syndrome that made me shiver like mad! HAHAH. But I did it! :D Praise The Lord! (:

-Photos in FB. (:

OH YES! I GOT TO SAY THIS, NEW MOON IS WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC, SUPERB & JUST SIMPLY AWESOME! :D HAHAHAH.

I watched it like TWO TIMES! :D dont mind watching it the THIRD & FOURTH TIME! lol. I think I'm crazy. hahahahahahah. no lah! Of cos I'll be realistic lah, spend money wisely! (: & I need to clear some debts first!

alright, I'm gonna go out and have Astons for dinner now! GOODBYE MY DEAR READERS! :D

`I believe, I believe, I believe in You! (:

2009-11-20T04:27:00.010+08:00

爱的魔力
Verse;
若有一种感觉，让你的生活过得更有色彩
他给与你力量坚持守护他
若得到这感觉，就绝对别让他消失在瞬间
让他的魅力能绽放到永远

Pre-chorus;
不惜一切，就这样付出全部
傻傻的望着他，默默地守着他
这就是真挚的爱

Chorus;
爱，奇妙的力量
爱，让你的内心微笑起来
虽不能看见，但却能够，让你飘起来
爱，是包容和忍耐
爱，是泪水和无奈结合起来
化成了力量，变成勇气，坚持走下去，爱的魔力

Bridge;
爱是个承诺，牺牲不要求任何回报
幸福的定义，不能放弃，爱才变更美丽

I got to know this song from one of my church Song Leader/Backup Vocalist, his name is Aldrich. I'm kinda fond of by the song. (: Be it the music or the content. I find the lyrics very meaningful to me, Hahah. Sorry that I cant upload it here for you guys to hear it.. but do look through the lyrics. Those who've added him in your friend's list should be able to hear it. I'm not exactly at the right time to find a boyfriend yet but I'll definitely love him with all my heart when it's time! :D

Talking about relationship, my friends had asked me many times to why I don't wanna get into a relationship yet. Hahah. My answer would always be that it's not time bah. In my mind, getting into a relationship is like getting into a commitment. I want to put in my all and give my best. (:

I want to have a stable job and income so that I can have my own savings. Savings not only for myself, but also for my future with my partner. I may be a female, that doesn't mean that the male party should take up all the responsibilities in terms of financial. In a relationship, it's about supporting each other and NOT the idea of only ~~husband supports wife~~.

The very main reason to why I'm not ready now it's because I know that my studies is in a chaos. Secondly, I need to strengthen my spiritual life. I'm a christian myself, and I want to reply on God for my future. I want to be spiritually strong before having a partner, so that I can be able to encourage my partner at times when he's upset.

Have I ever been tempted into getting into a relationship right away? The answer is yes. I'm still at an age where I'm young and curious of experiencing things. Furthermore I'm a girl, I do want someone that I can lean on, someone that love and and encourage me when I'm down. A friend can never replace the love of what a boyfriend can give.. it's a very unique kind of feeling. But I know and trust that God will give me a faithful boyfriend at the right time. (: So yes, the answer is Be Patient. My Bai Ma Wang Zi will definitely arrive. Hahah. But I really wish I can be married young! :D Hahah. I'm aiming for 23. (: Hope my wish come true. Hahahahahah.

-I broke the record of blogging for more than 3 hours for one post, AGAIN! HAHAH.
`My Lord is gracious.

2009-11-09T15:51:00.000+08:00

DEDICATED TO MY DAD.

My dad is a wonderful Dad. (:

Ever since my mum past away, he took the burden of maintaining my house as a whole. He works hard everyday just to support my brother and me. Whenever I see his tired face after work, I feel pain for him. My dad is a traditional chinese daddy. He doesnt communicate his emotions that freely like nowadays people do. Despite not complaining or even telling us about his tiredness, I know it when I see him. Even though there are times when I feel that he's very unreasonable, when he doesnt understand me, I know that he still loves me. (: I love love love love love love him because he's the world's most wonderful dad in my heart! :D

I'm actually feeling kind of angry now. ): sometimes I really hate _ . sighs. why cant _ be more consdierate!!! I really dislike the fact that I have to _ with _. ): ARGH! there's just so much things I want to vent out but I cant say it here. ): CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME?! D:

anyway, CITY COLLEGE PROM NIGHT 2009 was FANTASTIC! :D caught up with and joshy, mun and val! (: very very very very very happy! (: they are one clique that I will never forget, all the nonsense they have always make me laugh till I can drop. lol.
-PHOTOS IN FB! (:

after PROM, went clake quay with Glenn and Jeremiah plus a few other City College peeps! they are nice and fun people.. ahahah. (: hope to hang out again soon! (:

Today is CALVIN LIM'S B'DAEEEE!
HAPPY SWEET SWEEET SWEEEET 16TH TO YOU LITTLE BOY! :D
have a FUN day with me later! hahahahah. (: lol.

Through You, I can do anything
I can do all things
For it's you who gives me strength
Nothing is impossible!

Through You, Blind eyes are open
Strongholds are broken
I am living by faith
Nothing is impossible!

`You are my provider whom I trust. (:

2009-11-07T04:10:00.002+08:00

SOME THOUGHTS.

I've been pondering all along.. what is the one thing that I won't be able to do. I believe if there's really something I cannot do, it'll be changing people. All of us have a freedom of choice on our lives. No one can really tell you what to do unless you want to. I understand that different people have different point of views and that there's no right or wrong. It's just a matter of which ideology fits in more to the current situation. I feel that it's so hard to send my thoughts to people I'm communicating sometimes. It's even more frustrating when the people you're communicating with are your closest friends.

Later on I realised that it's not that what I've said didn't get into their minds but it's not time that they want an advice yet. I think it is interesting how humans were created. We actually learn things the best when we learn how to get up by ourselves, we don't really like it when people teach us step by step how to get up. When we were young, our parents show us how to walk. After showing us, they have to let go so that we are able to do it by ourselves. We have to learn that falling down is part and parcel of life and that we have to get up on our own to move on.

When I see my friends going through the situations I've been in before, I just can't make myself do nothing about it. I admit that sometimes this irritates them because they do not need my opinions. I realised that I'm too fast to speak all the time and I need to learn how to listen.

People have a freedom of choice, and it's really when they come up to me then I can give advices. Sometimes it's good that I keep quiet till they need my help. (: As A friend, I can only give advices. I got to remember, at the end of the day, they are still the ones making decisions and not me.

`Give me wisdom that flows like a river.

2009-11-05T21:05:00.008+08:00

HELLO WORLD! (:

I've disappeared for some time, back blogging now. (:

31TH OCT was great; had a fun Halloween Party in church. (:
-photos in FB! (:

the following day was great too; Fellowship with W387 at Marina Barrage. (:
Kite Flying + Games!
-photos in FB too! :D

my papers are officially over. (: but.. I'm somehow in confusion. afraid that I wasted this one whole year again. sighs. well, I'm at peace lah. whatever the results, I'm prepared alrdy.

ever since my paper ended, I have been suffering from very very bad flu! ):
Feverish, Cough, Sore Throat, Sneezing and Running Nose.
is like sians super annoying. but thank God, I'm feeling better alrdy. hopefully I'll be healed by tmrr! :D

I woke up really late todayy. spent my day on TV, Internet and Washing Clothes! (: just finish hanging them.

oh man, I got no idea I took exactly how long to blog this post! lol. I can say it's more than 5 hours! HAHAHAH! it's just one short post, this is crazy man! I shall end off now. (: till the next time I update, goodbye people! :D

Tribute -Daphne Khoo

-I got to always remind myself I'm a servant of God, and serving God is always my greatest joy! (: so keep it up janet! :D
`The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

2009-10-22T11:14:00.001+08:00

SOW TO GOD, FOR IN DUE TIME YOU'LL REAP THE HARVEST. (:

I'm soooooooooo IN LOVE with my new phone. (: but I love my daddy EVEN MORE! :D sometimes I really feel that he doesnt care for me at all, but at the end of the day, he's still the one that cheers me up! I dont want to disappoint my dad, really hope I'll make it through for my papers. ): miracles can happen even though there's only few more days left for me.... I trust You Lord, give me strength. (:

I believe prayer meeting last week was awesome even though I only manage to make it for one evening. I'm so gonna pray more. (: I wanna make my everyday filled with His presence.

just like what faji preached, all the sacrifices in serving will not go into waste. what I reap is God's presence, which is very true. I felt even closer to God whenever I overcome a challenge. God is good. it is really time for me to restore myself and back to serving in His house again, enough rest time for me alrdy. (:

to B2F2F2;
I wont be seeing for many many days too, will you miss me? anyway, do take good care of yourself. even though we may have small argues sometimes, you're still my very best B2F2F2 okay! (: you know you bottle alot of things to yourself. remember, when you need a pair of listening ears or just one warm hug, I'll be there. ask and you will receive! hahahah. jiayou kae, I believe all the stress you're going through wont go to waste because it'll push you to do better! :D all the very best for this period of time. must sms or call me when you have the time, if not I'll miss you alot alot. GOGOGO YONGJIAYUN! (:

lastly, to ALL O LEVELERS;
if you happen to be reading my blog, here's a very very very big wish for you guys. all the very best for all de papers yea! if you have studies really hard and put in sufficient efforts, it'll not go into drain! I'll keep you guys in prayers. JIAYOU! :D

`You will always be the Beautiful One in my heart. (:

2009-10-08T19:31:00.000+08:00

EVERYTHING CHANGES ACCORDING TO IT'S SEASON.

I wish I could update my blog everyday but my speed of blogging so so slow that I cant afford to do that. hahah. oh well, it's less than 18 days to O Levels right now.. sometimes merely looking at alll those lazy bums, I cant deny that I'm just like them. there's never once I felt prepared enough to go for the papers. reason being, I played too much. I dont even want to say I'm proud that at least I know it myself bec I still am not doing enough yet.

well, no matter how much time I've waste, I still have this last lap to finish. so I'll make sure I try my very best to make good use of it. STUDY IS MY PRORITY now. (:

regarding my part time jobs.. I'm doing fine so far. just dislike having the need to scrub and wash my shirts clean after work. ): oh well :D can train myself to be a good wife next time! LOL.

got to go study alrdy... (:

ALL THE BEST FOR ALL O LEVELERS! :D

`take me away. (:

2009-09-28T20:05:00.002+08:00

GIVE ME A BREAK!

Today;
I've gotten back all the results of my papers. I dont need to really say anything, it's an obvious answer of how I fared. I'm not gonna scream and shout and do whatever to vent out bec I know jolly well how much effort I've put into prelims. I wish that an excuse would be I'm too emotional, I actaully dont really have the mood to chiong for it at all.

home really dont feel so much like home to me anymore, it only feels like somewhere for me to dress up and rest. bec there's not a single bit of encourage at all, none. to me, it feels like there are only selfish people in the house. sometimes I wish I can say I hate home. but I know I have to hold back that sentence.

Yesterday;
went East Coast Park for cell group. met kuan and some of the rest at Bedok and then headed there together. they started eating and everything after we settled down.

after that, felt like skating so I went to rent it. (: was quite disgusting, the skates are all wet because of people's perpiration and stuff. I have to say the skating wasnt as smooth as I thought it would turn out. hah. I fell 3 times, de last fall was the worse. landed on my elbow. I'm gonna see a doc soon though, hopefully it's not some serious injury.

after returing the skates, kuan, candice and chien had went cycling. the kite tangled when I was not around, so the rest were untangling it.. I sat at the table and rest. when we were about to leave, I went to help them with the strings.. we went Bedok to have our dinner, was a great but sinful meal! HAHAH. if you readers get wad I meant. while on the way home, the strings gone hay wire again. hope mun yee untangled them alrdy. (:

-I know that it's an excuse when I keep saying I need time but I'm just unwilling to make the first move now. but, I know I will have to make a change to stop all these that I'm going through. in studies and other areas, I dont wanna disappoint all who cares.

`I know You never let me go, bring me back to where I belong.

2009-09-27T02:21:00.008+08:00

challenges after challenges after challenges.

Thursday;
fruitful jogging with B2F2F2. big big love! :D
CLEMENTI to NGEE ANN to CLEMENTI. (:
buttttttt, having bad muscle aches now. ): hope I recover soon then I can get back exercising! :D

Friday;
went for Tuition in the afternoon.. my kid is so naughty! not giving up though, I believe I can win her heart one day. (: by the way, her name is MengHui. my new tuition student.
after that, met up with jeff, bing rong, mun yee, candice & p for Pool Session. had great rounds with the two boys. wanted to go esplanate but wasnt aware that it's closes up bec of F1, saded. the night wasnt wasted though, I had fun with two very good frens! :D thanx MR YOU & MISS YOU! HAHAH. oh, must thank MR YOU's frens toooo for driving and treating us. (x

Yesterday;
was actually still feeling very very moody but my love for God is stronger than anything else. (: went for Service and met Pastor after that. after Pastor spoke to us, talked to Faji awhile and then off to opposite coffee shop to have my dinner. not gonna talk about wad happened after that but today was quite challenging.

B2F2F2;
thank you thank you thank you for being my listening ear, my support and my very best fren these few days. I'm really at the verge of falling into depression but because you were there, I feel so much better. I love you I love you I love you. and bec you matter so much to me, please please please take good care of yourself. I am very very worried about just now that incident. please eat your meals regularly sweetheart! I still need you to help me through this tough period, you cannot fall arhh!!! (:

KUAN;
thank you for being a supporting fren to me too. the things that you told me really helped alot and I thought alot too. I cant deny the fact that I'm still very hurt now.. I wont wait too long but just need some more time. I believe I'll soon get back on track. (: keep praying for me k. without your support I'll also fall apart so thank you thank you thank you too, I really appreciate you! & I'm sure the book will help me to recover faster! (x

& last but not least,
HAPPY SWEET 19TH TO JOSHY BFF! :D
may you smile your day off and have a very very very blessed celebration! ((:
owe you one big big present kaeeeeeeeeeee.

`I believe You'll give me strength to pull through, I wont give up. (:

Xavier

2009-09-11T14:02:00.002+08:00

BOOOOO! lol.

prelims ended, I think I do not need to state how well I did lah. expected to be.. hopefully my english papers can bring me some hope.. =/

YESTERDAY was a total super fun time with Xavier & Fraser! :D hahahah.

after my papers in the morning, I went for luch with paul. (: after that, I decided to go give tuition. after tuition, went to central to take my another set of uniform from my work place there and hurried home to change and everything.

supposedly to meet 6 at cathay.. but I was late. I reached ps about 630pm, rushed up to meet them. wanted to watch Final Destination in 3d, sadly ps didnt have it. we caught I Love You Beth Cooper in the end. (: hmm, I'll rate it 3/5. but the show was quite funny. after which, went to have our dinner at the Fish Manhatant Market! :D we ordered a Platter for Two and shared! (: those who have not tried, go for it man! it's really delicious, love it to the max. after meals, wanted to go singapore flyer, but we left after 10pm and heard that it closes at 10pm so decided to chill out somewhere. we settled at Starbucks and chatted. drank my favourite drink there, Java Chip! :D we headed home at about 1130pm. (:

it's been awhile since I really enjoyed chilling out with friends like that and I feel happy. (:

I dont know if you get to see this, THANK YOU XAVIER FOR ALL THE BLESSINGS! :D I always say, when I'm rich, I'll never forget to bless those who have blessed me. I really really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. (:

last but not least, I'm SO IN LOVE with the song PARTY IN THE USA by Milley Cirus! (: super super super nice. hahahahah. go listen if you havnt! (:

today is gonna be another good day. (: gonna have lunch with B2F2F2 & KUAN & NIC sooonnn. till de next post, farewell people! :D

`You gave me hopes & dreams, make me pure Lord.

2009-09-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

hours and hours of slacking had proven that I am one lazy soul.

I really feel like I'm those kind that in a chineses saying "bu jian guan cai bu tiao yan lei" type of person. for my case, I'm basically trying to say that I always do last min work. even till now, I can still have the cheek to actually come blog. -.- but I just want to ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

one thing I realy thank God is that there's always a wake up call for me, like I have still time to study before the actual o level papers. I got to really buck up lahhhhhhhh. ):

on a lighter note, I've started to gain back my faith and a little of confidence despite all challenges still going on. (: I thank God that I made quite a number of new frens and they are all very very very friendly and nice! :D I shall not name them out here, but I guess they know who they are! (:

the first paragraph of this post sounded very serious BECAUSE IT IS REALLY SERIOUS!
I'm having my Prelims SS paper tmrr and I haven even considered started. -.-

so now, enough of all the crap & BYE PEOPLE!

`Jesus loves me, calls me His own.

2009-08-25T05:20:00.000+08:00

"dont let situations affect your standing in God."

I've heard this for many times and it got me thinking whenever it's repeated. have I already forgotten His love for me? have all the fights that I have fought all these five years gone into waste? I dont regret having to face the challenges in front of me right now, I just feel lonely going through them all by myself. but then I know, it's all the self-centredness in me that's causing me to have all the negative thoughts. I haven really did my best to win back my spirit man and my flesh had taken over me each time I confess something like that. I kept asking myself over and over again, "where have that love gone to?" - when all the while it is always present.

I dont know what are the views or what kind of impression I set before others, all that I've heard are always gosips and criticism. honestly, I'm discouraged. really beaten down by all those nasty remarks that I've received, yet I dont want to give up. acknowledging that His love is sufficient for me and I do not need to rely on man to feel my needs inside. after all, I'm still human. who wont fall when you get knocked down? I just have to get up on my feet and tell myself "it's okay, I will be stronger."

what got me upset is that people whom are close to me, I found out - they never really understood me or even know me. there's a saying "so near, yet so far". I really did feel like that most of the time. dont tell me you'll be there for me when you're never there. dont tell me you understand me when you've never given me support in things I've done. yes, I've grown cold in trusting people. I hate being in a position when people just totally misunderstood me when they should know my intentions. perhaps I'm being selfish, but I dont want to always swollow the bitterness down and suffer all by myself. it hurts, very very badly. I dont see anyone that seems to really care about me anymore. I hate myself for being the way I am now.

I am a child of God.
God is my Abba Father- my Daddy God.
God loves me just the way I am.
God lives in me and I love in Him.
I am a person of infinite worth.
I have been created unique in every way.
It is OK to love myself & take care of myself.
I am created by God for every good work.
God has called me ans chosen me as His own.
God is changing me every day to be more like Him.
I am a person of great purpose & destiny.
I am given talents, gifts and abilities by God.
I am able to achieve great things in God.
I am abounding in grace and hope.
I am blessed - empowered to succeed in life
Greater is God in me than the devil in the world.
I dont have to be afraid of anything for God is with me.
Every bad habit I have is losing control over me.
Even my enemies are at peace with me now.
God is thinking good thoughts about me right now.
God is planning the paths that will lead me to my purpose.
I have visions & dreams for the Holy Spirit regularly.
I am led daily by the Holy Spirit.
I will walk in good health & live a long life.
I will prosper financially in life.
I love Jesus wholeheartedly.
I love people fervently.
Jesus loves me forever.

`only You understand Lord, only You know what I am going through. I am tired, dont wanna continue with all these never ending negative thoughts anymore. will You bring me back to the Altar? where I first found You, where I found my First Love.

2009-08-16T14:17:00.001+08:00

I've decided that I'm gonna drown myself with studying today. (:

history.english.social studies.

DONT WANNA THINK OF ANYTHING FOR AS LONG AS I CAN.

history.english.social studies.

-it's time to beat the devil down down down.
`I have Your strength Lord. (:

2009-08-16T04:57:00.000+08:00

things are getting from bad to worse, I really feel like running away and never come back. it's so tiring, I'm already drained out. there's just too much disappointments. I know that I wont let go because God will never let go but there's no where that seem to bring me joy.

Unfailing love, so unreserved
You gave Yourself on calvary
And Now I stand forever free
My Savior rescued me

`my one & only true fren, Jesus.

2009-07-27T06:42:00.001+08:00

it's 6 am now, I'm using my brother gf's lappy to blog.

well, this weekend didnt really went well for me, but I still stand strong and believe God will open a way for me to walk through. honestly, by saying that doesnt mean that I am totally in a very cheerful state. I have to admit that this year had been really really challenging for me. many times, I'm at a breaking down point, depressed. despite knowing that I should be even more positive in situations that I am facing, I failed. negative thoughts kept flowing in. I know that it's because I'm not praying enough and didnt lean on God's wisdom but my own strength.. I hope I can restore myself and get back on track soon.

To all my beloved frens;
I want to apologize for being really unpleasant these period of time, I'm not in a very good state. some of you may be able to tell and I thank you for being patient with me. I just wanna let you guys know that I treasure every single one of you because you people are God's gift to me. (: I will get back to myself when I've settled all my emotions. please try to pardon me for now if I've been rude.. I'm sorry.

TO FAJI;
a big sorry.

To SHERYL;

TO: Janet
FROM: Sheryl

You're a special person
on whom I can depend
and I know without a doubt
I'll always want you as my friend.

If you ever need someone
to understand and care,
or a hug is what you're after,
just call and I'll be there.

If things begin to get you down
and it's hard to take much more,
you can always turn to me
beacuse that's what
friends are for.

thank you very much for once again being my listening ear. you really mean alot as a fren to me all these years. I know that at times I get angry really easily and threw my temper at you, but because you knew me and you'll always give in to me. I'm really really sorry for all those nasty attitudes I have. I can have a million frens.. but among those only few shine like stars, and you are one of them. I really treasure you. thank you for the card that you gave me. I'm touched, really. reading the words make me feel that I'm loved by a fren. it's not going to be easy for me to be able to make you laugh much this period of time but I will try my best yea? (: from the bottom of my heart, you are a very special fren and no one can replace you, a friend forever.

`when my sky is grey, I know that my Lord is still.

2009-06-29T23:33:00.001+08:00

Firstly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE & ONLY ELDER BROTHER JOHN ONG! :D
with all my heart, hope you had de happiest day of this year. whether you're fat or thin, grew taller or shorter, you're still DE DA FEI ZHU I KNOW. you may not be the best brother in the world, but in my heart you're unique as an individual, love you deep deep! :D I wish you all the best for everything, especially in your relationship with ailin. (:

Secondly,
Happy Birthday to SHERYL'S MUM! (:

I miss blogging. ): lots and lots and lots of things had happened this period of time, by God's grace I'm still surviving. (: hahah. my com's not available but E-MAIL's still working, to all my beloved frens who wanna reach me MAIL ME. :D I'll check it like as much as I can. de best way is still through HP, msg or call me kae! :D

& I've recently fallen in love with this song. (:

Craig David- Insomia

One thing that I desire in my heart Lord
To thirst and hunger after You alone
With all my heart and soul
With all my strength and love
To worship as Your glory fills this place

Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love with You
I love You more than anything in life

Deeper in love with You
Deeper in love with You
Oh how I love You Lord

`restore me oh Lord, I wanna serve You even more.

2009-06-17T22:51:00.002+08:00

HELLO EARTHLINGS! :D
just a few stuff to udate and I'm off.
firstly, my com's still down. ): I pray that I can get my com fixed.

INSPIRE FAITH YOUTH CAMP WAS GREAT. (:
I enjoyed myself much and I really thank God that despite having to rush to school for lessons and back to camp again for two consecutive days, I didnt fall sick. (:

I think this year is really the most challenging time of me life. lots of things happened, and know that it's true that I am affected by it. nevertheless, I trust God to bring me through this rocky path. (:

To CANDICE & SHERYL;
I'm sorry if I haven been a very good friend lately. I shouldnt let my emotions run through me at times, I hope you guys can forgive me. give me some time, I believe I can do it yea? (:
there's one thing I can assure you girls is that I love you two very much as my frens and that you two mean alot to me kae. both of you had gone through thick and thin together with me, seen my darkest side and brightest side, I just wanna say thank you. sheryl, thank you for always being my help. everytime when I have questions, you're the one that answers most of it! :D candice, thank you for being such a cute girlfriend. sometimes, just thinking of you can out a smile on my face. (: thanx for all the encouragement that you try your very very very best just to brighten me up. I am touched, and I really appreciates every single happiness you two sow in my life. there's nothing more I can say than a thank you.

-never give up, cos He's always there. (:
`my God is worthy of all praise!

2009-06-04T01:21:00.003+08:00

:D :D :D

I'm sorry I haven been updating guys.. my com's really down. ): I think this time I'm really gonna disappear from the internet whenever I'm home cos my dad's cancelling it. oh wells.
but, I'm glad I still have wonderful frens that will always be there for me whenever I need to use the internet! :D one of them is SHERYL, then KUAN and CANDICE. ((: they are 3 wonderful peeeepoooos of my life, because they can let my breathe some internet air once in awhile! HAHAH.

hmmmm, if i were to blog about everything that's happening ever since I've last post I think I can blog for two whole days man! ahahahah. but to summarise, I am still doing fine. (:
of cos there are days I still feel very down after facing various challenges but I'm not giving up. I trust and believe that my God is a God who saves, so there's nothing that's too big for me to handle when He's with me! :D

I wanna take this chance to thank CANDICE, FAJI & WEI QUAN for always being there to encourage me when I'm at my darkest moments. (:

oh, if ROBIN'S reading this.. thank you for joining my frens and me at city hall the other day, hope you enjoyed yourself! join us another time kaeeeeeeeeeee. (x

someone's bugging me to pass the com to him, so TAKE CARE all my beloved frens! :D I'll try to update whenever I can. (:

Everlasting
Your light will shines when all else fades
Never Ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

`Lord, bring me further. (:

2009-05-23T00:31:00.001+08:00

YO PEEEEPOOOOOS! (:

I'm gonna have holidayyss for two weeks starting on Monday, pleaseeeeee date me out anyone! (: hahahahah. preferably my BFFsss! :D if not, I think I'll rot to death at home! hahah.

& oooooow yay! weekends are here, I love soaking myself in God's presence. (:
NEW OIL and RENEWED STRENGTH to move on with my life! ♥

I love the show that wei quan lent me; Facing The Giants.
after watching it, I felt very inspired.
-thanx my fren. (:

In good times, Praose Him.
In bad times, Praise Him.
Thank God that He had brought us to where we are, be grateful of His grace.
Prepare your fields for the rain now for He's gonna sent it in anytime. (:

-I am lost, can't see where the road infront of me is but, I will not give up for I know;
`You're good, always.

2009-05-18T01:09:00.003+08:00

HELLO WORLD! :D

you guys got no idea how many things I have in mind to update man! hahah.
It's exactly a week since I last post so I'm gonna share with you guys wads up with me now. (:

-if there one person that I really would like to thank, that'll always be my wonderful Father in heaven. I failed many times to be faithful to Him, but He had never let me down, not even once. sometimes, I felt really disappointed of myself bec of the things I have done or should have done. I cant say that I'm very old in Christ, but through all these years I've experienced so much already. I'm really thankful that I made the decision to follow Him, because now I know how beautiful life is. (:

last week was exam week for CHEC, I only have three papers to take. some may think, super shiok compared having 5 papers to take, but it's not kae. as many who knows me, I'm a super lazy bum! and especially for the reason that I started school late and missed out so many lessons, it's really quite a gone case for me that I will do well. hahah. well, thank ms esther for that extra q&a session, bec she printed essay notes for us to go back and look through! :D although she ask us to just read through and understand but I went to so called "memorised" it. hahahah. cos of not studying earlier got no choice lah. so in the end I think i did quite well for my SS paper. my English went pretty well tooo. (x as for History, not that good but at least I finished my SBQ. hopefully my Combined Humans marks wont be that bad.

-weekends not bad lah.

FRIDAY, 15/05/09;
suppose to be going out but in the end I stayed at home. heheheh, cleared all all dirty clothes! :D I spent about 3-4 hours finishing everything, HAND plus MACHINE wash. (: quite fruitful for me! I'm proud of myself. hahahahahahahah.

SATURDAY, 16/05/09;
met sheryl at Tiong and headed to church together. service with pastor kong was awesome! (:
I left church about 740pm, headed straight to d-yana's house for her 18TH B'dae Party. it was a fun time spent there together with the few that went, left home at about 11pm.
after washing up and everything, I sat at the sofa and enjoy my beloved drama Princess Hours. (x heheheh. watched untill 4am then went to sleep. (:

SUNDAY, 17/05/09;
cell group was great, I'm very touched. (:
after that, went Central. the rest studied while I slack using sheryl's mac book. heeeeeee. (x
I'm currently at sheryl's house finishing this post and I'm done! :D HAHAHAH.

PS;
gonna get back my papers starting on Tuesday, wish me all the best my beloved frens! (:

-this week is a fresh start, I wanna make a change in my life!
`You are my world Lord, I wanna serve You till the end.

2009-05-10T19:29:00.001+08:00

MY COM IS OFFICIALLY SPOILT! ):
usually still can be switched on after restarting many many times but this time it's really gone! all my lovely pictures and songs and videos all gone!! I very sad lah. I hope it'll revive! pray for my com please! ):

anyway, tmrr's my English paper! wish me all the best all my coolest frens! :D

TO B2F2F2;
LOVE YOU DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP DEEP LAH! (:
I'M REALLY TOUCHED TO SEEE YOUR POST! :D
PLEASE SMILE EVERYDAY SWEETHEART! <3 thank you for standing by my side when I'm at my darkest moments. you know whenever I received encouraging smses from you, tears just cant stop flowing down because I'm really touched to have a caring fren. dont ever think that you're not a good fren because you made a difference to me. without you, I think I would feel even more rejected. grey clouds are just temporary & I know I'll see the rainbow so soon! :D I'll try my best to be happy and bring joy to you too, so you can run to me whenever you're sad. (: I love you!

TO FAJI;
thank you for times when you just pop an encouraging msg to me; thanx for spending that little time to hear me out when you hear that I'm in need; thanx for believing in me and thanx for all the prayers you've prayed. I know there's still alot more for me to learn about you, but for now, you're alrdy a wonderful cgl. (: I'll do my best to serve in the cell group which I think it's the best I can do to serve you my leader. :D I have faith in you to bring us to a whole new level of breakthrough. THANK YOU FAJI! (x

`I believe my spirit is restoring, and I'll do my best in whatever. (: I want to care for my frens like how You cared for me and I want to love like how You first loved me. I want to have a bigger heart, more of You and less of me! :D let my life be filled with full of light Lord! (x

2009-05-08T18:24:00.000+08:00

GREETINGS.

this week is JANET'S FLU WEEK! hahah.
had been having flu like since Monday till now. arghhhhh. had been feeling nauseous like every single day! ): but thank God at least today I feel better. (:
I cant remember wad I did on Monday

THUESDAY, 05/05/09;
after humans, waited for kel to end school then headed to tiong to eat. initial plan was to go home club with kel in the night to see him dance but I went to play pool with jared at kovan in the end. hahah. (:

WEDNESDAY, 06/05/09;
had KFC for lunch with diyana, kel and vincent (if I didnt remember his name wrongly) then went woodlands with bernard and kelvin cos didnt want to head home so early. watched Friday the 13TH. hahaah. the show's super funny, scary lah but not really worth watching. it's similar to My Bloody Valentine, but storyline compared My Bloody Valentine will be better.
after the show, I slacked with them untill about 730pm and headed home. (:

THURSDAY, 07/05/09;
feel very drowsy de whole day. ):
after school, went lunch with bernard, kelvin, diyana, bryan and kenett and then headed home.

had been hanging out with bernard and kelvin in school, they are really funny people. hahah. I'll surely laugh whenever with them. (:

oh yeah, and robin tooo. haven really know him well yet but I'm sure he's a super nice fren. :D
-all the best for your matches! (:

as for TODAY;
I woke up at 12+pm, had been using com. (:
created a quiz; "How well do you know JANET? (:"
go do it my frens! :D
as for now, gonna head to kovan alrdy! meeting my schoolmates for dinner! update later if there's time! (:

`I'm excited for Your word tmrr Lord! (:

2009-05-04T22:15:00.002+08:00

A BRAND NEW START! :D

I think it's really time for me to make a change after so many weeks of thinking negatively. (: well, I have to accept that things happened for a reason and that it's because of what happened I'm strengthened once again. I do not understand why I have to face all those situations when I very much dont want to, but I chose to trust in God that all things happen for good. (: I'm gonna be happy as much as I can starting from tomorrow! :D

THURSDAY, 30/04/09;
school was alright, but I;m naughty.. cos didnt finish my essay give teacher. hahahah.
after school, went clementi to eat with bernard, bryan and kelvin. then trained to woodlands with bernard and kelvin cos I wanna go kel's house and do my homework. hahahah. they thought that I was crazy bec woodlands is so far from my house. hahahah. anyway, it was quite efficient lah. I completed the homework I owe ms dawn. (: heheh.

FRIDAY, 01/05/09;
spent my whole day at home rotting. hahahahah. I spent my afternoon on the com untill about 5+pm then off to prepare to go out. met Bestie at vivo city. (: heheheh.
-sorry sweetheart, didnt mean to make you wait so long. THANK YOU! :D I'll make it up to you I promise! (:
after that, met up with berlin and frens. she text me in the afternoon and I thought it was nice to go see her for awhile as our free time always clashed. had a great night together, thanx sweetiee. (: hope to meet up with you again soon! :D

SATURDAY, 02/05/09;
Dr Stephan K.Munsey came. he delivered a very interesting and powerful message to us. (: it is very true that God loves us just as we are. even though we're not perfect, He is willing to accept us and pour unconditional love. just like my Father, I pray that I'll have a big heart to love all the people around me. I want to learn how to accept people's flaws. and I know Lord, You'll show me the way. (:
after service, I had a very very very great time spent with my sweetheart! :D went expo with her mum's fren, her mum, terence and her. (: went for the Metro Sale, walked around everywhere till I was pretty tired. the reason was also because I didnt have a good rest the previous night lah. ahah.
after getting their stuff, I went with them to changi village to have dinner. (: man, I felt kind of bad because the her mum's treating me.. uhhh. but I felt really blessed at the same time. her mum's fren fetched me home after which. (:
I really really appreciate everything candice, thanx for being there to encourage me when you know that I am sad. (: likewise, I'll always be there for you. dont keep everything to yourself kae. (x

SUNDAY, 03/05/09;
I woke up late. ): got up, quickly prepared myself and rushed down for cell group.
we practiced listening to God's word and prophesy to our partners, it's was an awesome meeting. (: my partner was janice, we both prayed a prayer that's very accurate to one another's life. it was really cool man. hahah. and ohhh, I couldnt remember her name.. one of faji's another cell group member also gave me a word that is very similar to the situation I am in.
God is really really amazing, He works in showing us the light through our friends ard us. (:
I HAVE A REMARKABLE GOD! :D
OHH YES, KELVIN ARHHHHHH, PS ME. hahah. NEXT WEEK ARHH, YOU PROMISED ALRDY. (:
went JP with a few of my cell group members to have lunch and then back to Iris(dont know if I spelt her name correctly) house, we had a basketball fellowship. hahahah. we left about 6+pm, I went to meet sheryl together with pearlyn and we studied.
HAHAHAH, and yes, it was EFFICIENT. I finished my english essay! (: and breakthrough man! I wrote like 472 words. ahahahahah.
for Photos, go to sheryl's blog; http://musicfanatic91.blogspot.com/
headed home after that! (:

to WEIQUAN;
just wanna say thank you for the encouraging words, I'm sure you're a very good fren to talk to about the problems I am facing. thank you. hahahah. and it is very cool that we have a very similar personality! :D you're a great fren! (:

weekends past really quickly but it never failed to make my days fruitful because I spent them with my wonderful Father in heaven. ♥

as for TODAY;
didnt really absorb much for both my english and history lessons.
FLU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ): it's so irritating lah.
Mid Year's coming man, I really got to do more revision!
after school, I came home. threw my clothes into the washing machine and was on the com most of the time untill now. hahahah. gorsh, I spent like almost all the time blogging this post.

this is a very lengthy post. hahahah, enjoy reading readers! :D

& I ALMOST FORGOT.. B(2)F(2)F(2) GAVE ME A BOOK! (:
it's titled "When You Don't Know What To Say."
I think it's gonna be very handy for me because I'm not a very good-at-words person.
thanx sweetheart! ♥

`thank You Lord, thank You for showing me the light. (:

2009-05-01T17:54:00.002+08:00

:) !OLLEH
-turn it ard.

today's Labour Day, no school. I'm so bored! ): wanna catch a movie very much but dont know ask who. hahahah. oh well. (: mayb meeting B(2)F(2)F(2) in the night! ♥

well, school had been good so far. wonderful frens ard me. (: kelvin is really a very nice brother I would say, one adorable pretty boy. I think I know of alot of pretty boys man, jiexiang is one of them. (: diyana is another "bitch" fren. lol. of cos I dont mean it in a bad way, most will understand wad I meant. hahahah. I feel happier in school now and that should do me a better mood to study hard. :D heeeee.

I've been thinking of so many things recently man. the only reason why people dont feel happy is because they dont feel contented with the things they have. for me, I need to be content, really. to be content that at least there're still wonderful people ard me that are there to hear me when I needed it most. contented that sometimes wad I do are being appreciated by even people that're not really close to me, especially leaders. (: sometimes when I'm feeling moody for the day, their greetings will just brighten up my day. it's wonderful that people recognises you! :D

people will recognise you by the things you do, because it reflects your heart. one that is after God will not do things to hurt people ard them because there's love around. (: it's hard to let go of grudges because it had cut deep into your heart, but it's a choice to recover from it and be free again. sometimes, we need to have a bigger heart to say I forgive. that's when you really have true happiness in your life and God is please with it. at the end of the day, we'll still have people that upsets us one way or another. it's how we manage our feelings and face life again. (:

-hope wad I wrote in the short paragragh will encourage my dear readers. (:

-I have happy frens. (:
`Jesus, You're forever de joy in me. ♥

2009-04-29T04:11:00.004+08:00

HEY FRIENDS! (:

just a short post before I head to bed. (:

haven been blogging these few days, kinda lazy actually. hahah. 2009 is really one challenging year for me, I can already write a book of all the things that had happened to me since the start of this year. hahah. but, through it all I still praise God. for I know that these challenges will eventually make me stronger as an individual. and I know that no matter what happen, I will never, never leave God. (: I'm trusting God that these year will be one that I'll receive the greatest breaktroughs before 2010, I will stand firm!

even since school started, it has also been good for me. I thought I wont be able to catch up with the lessons, but I did it for most. especially english. (: now just need a little more revision to catch up on my humans. I dont want to disappoint my dad anymore, given so much free time, there's no excuse for me not to do well. so janet ong, work hard! :D

on another hand, by God's grace I made a bunch of fun & cool frens like in just short two weeks! (x they're kelvin, dyana, xavier and jared! (: kelvin and dyana can really make my day man! hahah.
of cos not forgetting my best best best girlfriend in school, JODIE! ♥
there're also people like nigel, shimin, bernard, amelia and some of the other girls in my class that I've talked to. (: I think it's good enough for me even though I'm not exactly close to everyone, at least there's a friendship made. praise the Lord! :D
`indeed, frens are God-gifted beings in my life, I'll learn to treasure every fren that I have. (:

TO KELVIN HENSUM;
I know that you're not going through a good time now, but just wanna tell you that you have wonderful frens ard that love you! (: cheer up alright pretty boy! :D

TO JODIE;
thanx for being my best sweetheart in school, you're a great fren to me! ♥ you deep deep deep! :D

TO SHERYL;
I wanna dedicate this photo to you! proving that I've never forget this special friend that I've known for almost 10 years! :D love you! ♥

TO MY B(2)F(2)F(2);
how can I forget you? the best always comes at the end! so here's a beloved face of mine posted! & you know how deep my love for you is! ♥♥♥

-I love school! (:
`thank You for restoring me Lord, I will never stop running.

2009-04-24T01:54:00.004+08:00

The joy of the Lord is my strength. (:

I'm actually still in a very emontional mode now as some may know. it's pretty hard for me to say let go and be fine the next day bec everything came clashing in all at once. is like A+B+C kicking in all at one go, feel like I'm going to burst in no time. I cant stop myself from responding whenever I think of the incidents that happened. to be very frank, I feel that I really dont deserve what I am going through now, not at all! but, I know life still have to go on. Jesus didnt deserve to be nailed on the cross for me, but He did it. so what's so big about my problems compared to His sufferings?

My dream of Life;

It doesnt have to be perfect, as long as I have what I need I'd be very happy. I dont want to be too greedy, but at times I wish to be pampered a little with materials. I dont expect my friends to be there 24/7, as long as they know when to care and pour love on me. true frens will always be there for me, and being there meaning there'll surely be sacrifices made. that's when I know who're really the ones that're true to me. I dont need to live in a mansion, as long as I have a comfortable and lovely little house filled with love. I want a very loving family to be by my side, I want them to walk with the Lord with me. I pray for a contented life, praying to God daily thanking Him of everything that had I've seen and experienced. (:

& just like the the sunset, I pray for all my sorrows to be gone, that I may have a life of joy and happiness.

`Lord, I am lost, but I know Your light will always show me the direction.

2009-04-19T03:18:00.005+08:00

HEY GUYS. (:

-sometimes life just feel this way isnt it? it feels so stress and you just dont know where to turn, wishing there's a hole that you can jump in and hide forever. my heart is feeling exactly like that right now.

had a good talk with a dear sister just now, rant out everything and I'm feeling much better now. (:
sometimes I really dont understand why things are the way they are, it feels like the race is just too hard to continue running and I just want to give up at that point. it's really frustrating when you put in alot of effort in somethings and it's just not appreciated or seems like it's thrown into the drain. I'm sure you people who're reading gets wad I meant.
everytime after ranting out, I feel that my whole mind is stretched. I still dont understand why things must be that way, but I know there's always a reason behind everything that happened. problems will always be there, it's how I'm gonna face it with boldness and solve the situation. there's a time to rant and pour out those painful emotions, but at the end of the day I've got to get up on my feet again and continue running.

you feel angry when something made you really pissed, that's bec you dont understand why it happened. humans are selfish, because we want to be treated de way we desire. but in this world we live in, there'll bond to be obsticles along our way, it will never be a smooth sailing journey. everyone wants to stay in their comfort zone and not step out of the circle to break that heavy rock.. because you dont understand why it's there and you just dont want to waste the effort on breaking it, simply because it's gonna take sacrifices. but by making the decision to go through the perspiration and think of ways to break that rock, there's an even greater reward that awaits you. and that reward is freedom. and the freedom I'm refering now is wisdom, wisdom to understand why problems are the way they are. it's the hard work that made you realised actually things are not that difficult to be solved, it just requires you to go through the fire to think. that's when you really step out of your boundary to gained the knowledge.

do you have problems that you're running away today? it's gonna take time to crack that rock and heal from your hurt, but the reward is even greater than your sacrifce! (: GO BREAK IT NOW! :D

-problems are dead but I'm alive, I know that I cant change the way how people feel or think but I can try to understand why it is that way. from there, I learned and gets stronger. (: of cos, not by my own strength but God.
`show me how to live, Lord. (:

2009-04-16T19:28:00.002+08:00

It's Thursday alrdy! (:

I only finished washing my clothes slightly pass 12am, I took more than 4hrs man! but I'm proud to finish washing it. (:
I just finished my english homework and I'm feeling tired. *yawns*
meeting jodie to have lunch together with my class people later in the afternoon.. I believe the fellowship will be good! :D
alrighty, going to bed, GOODNIGHTS to people who're still awake! (:

-posted at 0349AM.

/Edited.
lunch with my class was cancelled today.. woke up late again. ):
ms dawn let us watch Akeelah and The Bee for class, heaeded home straight after school. (:
pearlyn is at my house now! :D I think she's rotting bec I'm using com and she's doing nothing. hahah.gonna go TBP later to get some stationaries.

P.S:
hahahahah, I realised my blog is getting very alive nowadays! :D mayb bec I'm just too bored and stuff. ahahahah. (: tag me guys! ♥

`I'll sing praises to You all my life. (:

2009-04-15T20:04:00.002+08:00

BOOOHOOHOOO! ):
I overslept today! missed my history lesson. arghh. man, I hope ms esther din do any new things today so I can at least still catch up with my previous work. (:
woke at about 1034am, went back to sleep till about 2+pm in the afternoon. bathed, changed then off to school to settle my fees and stuff.
waited for quite awhile before everything was settled.. wanted to meet pearlyn for lunch after that, but the timing clash so didnt. I walked to Tiong Baru Plaza, had my first meal of the day and headed home.
met daddy at my house downstairs, we took the lift up together. (:
I just had my wonderful dinner, feeling very bloated now. hahah. I've soaked my clothes, gonna do washing up so soon! *very very lazy* but oh well! :D

I WANNA WANNA WANNA;
1) A WELL PAID AND FLEXIBLE PART TIME JOB!
2) DO SO WELL FOR THIS YEAR!
2) BRACES DONE!
3) GO FOR A SHOPPING SPREE!
-need to get more shorts
-more shirts
-top up my make up stuff
and many many more...

-I need a breakthrough!
`I place my faith in You.

2009-04-15T02:10:00.004+08:00

GREETINGS EARTHLINGS.

FRIDAY-SUNDAY, 10-12/04/09;
HAPPY EASTER TO ALL! JESUS IS ALIVE! :D
this easter had shown me alot of things and I really thank God for all that He has done. (: I went for 2 full services on Friday & Saturday. as for Sunday, I only watched the drama and then went to children's church to help out untill service end. (: missed my fellow ministry members so much! all the kids that used to be there when I'm serving had gone to the older age groups, missed them so so so much man. ): I'll make an effort to go back expo to visit as much as I can now and then. (:
after service ended, I met some of my cell group members and royston at hall 7. we went to Tampines Mall food court to have our meals, then went to get sheryl's shoes.
headed to Tiong after that, royston went home, sheryl and I wanted to study. settled at Subway, pearlyn tagged along.. yan ci joined us shortly too.
headed to sheryl's house in the night with yan ci bec I haven complete my work! hahah. I was like playing wit hher phone all the way at Subway. :P we left home after that. (:

to QiYin;
thank you for the Mcflurry! :D
(I used red bec it's your favourite colour! ♥)

MONDAY, 13/04/09;
I woke up at 11+am, quickly went to bathe and prepare myself. realised I still have abit of time before leaving my house for school, so I was on de com for awhile. (: I almost almost gonna be late, but praise God! I was on time, I reached even earlier than expected. heheee. :D the lesson went very smooth for me. (: lesson ended, I bidded goodbye to jodie and then headed to JP. met up with kian hwee, yan ci, qiyin at some restaurant and then I was very very hungry alrdy, so asked qiyin to go eat with me first. the both went to find their fren, so qiyin and me went walking ard after my meal. (: went to Fairprice Xtra to get some snacks and munch, then home sweet home! :D

TUESDAY!
as usual, I woke up at a time just nice for me to prepare everything and go out. (:
I only had SS today. hmmmm, one thing that I cant really catch up yet will be humans. ): got to really do alot of self revision to really catch up! :D I wanna do well this year.
lesson ended, went to find miss cat to ask about my payment stuff..

I'm really very upset about it. I'm under Feb intake category, so which means school will charge my fees starting from Feb bec it's under the package.. I mistaken the whole thing and thought fees will start only when I start school. so I happily waited for my DAE and didnt do anything the past two months, now I got to pay the full payment of three installments to date and it really COST A BOMB! ),: I feel very very bad now bec I feel pain for my dad, those money are his hard earned money. and I know there is nothing more I can do besides doing very well this year to make him really proud. (: I will make it!

after waiting for my giro form, I went dinner with jodie at Tiong BK. ((: had a sumptious meal and then we headed home.
I was all the way on the com except the times when I went for a bath, caught 10min glance on tv and blah blah blah. yarr. hahah.

& OHOHOH! really thank God man! :D I wanted to keep it a secret bec I wanna share testimony on Sunday but oh well, I'm too excited to share! (:
I actually left my wallet at BK after leaving that place with jodie! and only realised it at like 10+pm in the night.. tell you! my heart immediately sank to the bottom man, I was so so so so super worried about my ic! my dad alrdy spent like a bomb on me for chec, the worse thing I'll expect is another few hundred bucks on making a new ic. I was feeling !@%5E#$"!@^#$ sad lah!
okayy, exciting part starts here; after joshy ring me that BK may still be open at that very hour, I rushed out of house and cabbed down to Tiong.. reached there, the taxi driver had no change to give me back AND AND AND there's this man waiting to hop on the cab after I alight.. I asked him if he has small change to exchane with me so that I can pay him the exact amount, guessed wad?! HE OFFERED TO PAY FOR MY FARE! I feel so blessed at that point despite still having the heavy feeling in my heart about my wallet. I was like trusting God throughout the journey that my wallet will be there. TRUE ENOUGH, it was there! :D could be some kind soul that pick it up and gave it to the cashier or the person who cleared the table after we left. no matter who it was, I AM DEFINITELY THANKFUL THAT I FOUND MY WALLET! :DDD

to my beloved Candice;
I know you're going through a hard time right now. just wanna let you know that my ears are always open to hear from you. (: remember, dont make de wrong decisions out of impulse. you know wad I'm refering to. but no matter wad it is, I'll still be here as a fren to support you all the way. cheer up my dear! (: *(B)2(F)2(F)2.

I still got alot more to share and rant bbbuuuttt, I got to get some work done and sleep bec I have lesson at 9am later! so, TATA. (: I'll share in the next post if I have time! :D

`I serve an ever amazing God! ♥

2009-04-11T02:31:00.001+08:00

THURSDAY, 09/04/09;
OUT WITH (B)2(F)2(F)2 AGAIN IN THE NIGHT! :DDD
supposedly to go TP early in the morning to settle her package thingy but I overslept! D:
I called her after I woke up, chat awhile with her and then I went online. I cant recall wad I was doing till I overestimated my time... & I was LATE for my very very very FIRST english class of the year! ):
but thank God I didnt miss much of the lesson and could catch up with wads going on! :D
I was pretty stress before going for the class at first. jodie not taking english so I was worrying about not knowing anyone there and stuff.. somemore I late! then ms dawn introduced me to the class at a later part of the lesson, and I find the class very nice. (: nigel is in the class too! at least someone I know of. hahah.
the collection of report books happened to be on that day, so my supposed to be two full periods english lesson ended early. so I met jodie after that to collect her report book with her.
after that, went to candice primary school to look for her and then thanx to that madness inside her, we walked from Radimas to Vivo! GOODNESS. that day was a super tiring day for me alrdy I tell you! but we made it lah! hahah. (:
we spent the rest of the day there shopping (for her), eating (both), window shopping (for me)! HAHAH. :D and also took some crazy photos again! (:
went to breadtalk and (B)2(F)2(F)2 treat me one bun! :D
her mum's fren sent me home after that! thanx sweetheart! ♥

-some photos snapped!

-I always feel like laughing my head off everytime I see the two of them together.

`I know I have to let go Lord, lead me.

2009-04-09T02:18:00.001+08:00

I HAD FUN WITH MY SWEETEST DRUG YESTERDAY! :D

met her 12+pm at Tiong Baru, trained down to TP to do her enrollment and get her package.. sadly, it wasnt ready to be received so it was a wasted trip.
we took a bus back to Tampines and then trained back to Tiong, from there bused to candice primary school. she wanted to look for her teacher but it was also quite a wasted trip bec when we reached, her teacher just left. hahah.
we went to candice grandma house later on to get the wax for her braces from her cousin. I finished my lunch there, dolled myself a little and then left.
headed to my school after that to settle my subjects changing thingy. dont know why, my time table included mathematics which I have earlier cancelled it before submitting the registration form. so yarr, got to follow the procedure to cancel it before they can help me calculate my actual school fees. spent quite awhile there waiting for teachers and stuff.. candice fell asleep while waiting with me. hahah.
after everything was done, we decided to walk to Tiong. I really love my best friend man. (: she treat me a bowl of chocolate sth..(I cant remember the name!) at the desert stall located at B1! :D we shared and finished as much as we can. (:
then candice was hungry because she hasnt eaten anything the whole day.. so she decided to come my house and have dinner. I cooked ramen+egg for her. (: I know the noodles taste awesome for candice yong! dont deny! HAHAH.
she washed up the bowls and stuff, then we went to Vivo city! (: I just went there like the day before and back again! hahah. we went to the bookstore located at level two and we bumped onto cher hong and christal. chatted awhile, candice helped me got some stuff and we went to other shops to walk ard and then settled at River Island. tried a number of clothes that we fancy and took some photos at the fitting room! ahah. :D
was pretty tired alrdy so we went on our seperate ways home after that.

-photos will be uploaded by best friend on facebook soon I think. (:

-thankyou for being a wonderful fren sweetheartttt. ♥

`I place all into Your hands, guide me in the light Lord.

2009-04-08T03:56:00.003+08:00

I AM SO SORRY CANDICE, WANTED VERY MUCH TO CHANGE MY SKIN BUT I THINK I CANT BEAR TO PART WITH THE OLD SKIN. HEHEH. BUT FOR YOUR SAKE, I'LL TRY TO CHANGE MY FONT SIZE OR SOMETHING IF I CAN FIND! :D
(I CAPS+BOLD FOR YOU ALRDY KAE! HAHAH.)

Yesterday was quite a fine day for me. (:
supposed to go to school in the morning to settle my paperworks but.. I overslept. ): oh man, I've been dragging it for dayyyssssss. really really got to get it done SO SOON!!
so I met up with justin at Vivo to catch The Unborn. it was pretty scary but the movie was great, hope there'll be a part 2 or sth. (: after the show, went for a short walk ard. then, we settled at Coffee Bean and waited for joy and enen. I had fun playing his laptop, the game was really interesting. hahahah. :D
after they came, we went Long John to have our dinner.
I left for church shortly after that. had a wonderful prayer meeting with Pastor Kong. (:
got a drink opposite church and home sweet home now! :D

to JUSTIN CHEE;
I dont know why, but I feel that you're a wonderful buddy! :D though we're not that close but I'm really glad knowing you. (: coming soon SOON! HAHAHAH.

to JOSHY;
I always wanna say thank you for being a great fren. (: you're one bff that I'll never forget, and MUN tooo! :D

-I know clearly which direction I should be heading, but my flesh so much so wants to run the other way.
`Lord, I really dont wish to let go but if I must, please help me.

2009-04-06T17:45:00.013+08:00

HEYY PEOPLES.

hahah, had been emoing last few days. but, the cheerful janet is back blogging now! (: though the troubles and situation that I'm facing are not yet solved but I believe nothing is greater than my God! :D

THURSDAY, 02/04/09;
stayed home.

FRIDAY, 03/04/09;
met up with faji at noon for lunch then headed to Anchor Point to meet up with a some queensway frens from jonathan's class. (: they're about 3 years younger than me but I dont seem to find it hard to communicate with them, they're very nice and frenly people. I thank God for an opportunity to fellowship with them. though my day dont seem to be very bright, I was happy. the fire that I felt lost is coming back, I wanna start reaching out again! :D doing visitation is really a joy! (:
kian hwee and yan ci came after that, went to SIM with faji to have dinner with him.
headed to sheryl's house in the night.
after that, went to find my brother and gf. michelle was there tooo. went for supper before heading home. (:

SATURDAY, 04/04/09;
service was good, Pastor round up the rest of the Love Busters. (:
after that, supposedly to go for Jon's b'dae bbq but my ez-link went out of money! ):

to JONATHAN CAI JUN LONG;
I'm really really sorry pal. it's a promise alrdy, I'm gonna treat you to some expensive restaurant plus your BIG BIG present! :D though it's over but I still wish to, HAPPY SWEET BIRTHDAY! (: I remembered the times when we served together and I'll always always call you when I'm feeling upset. hahah. thank you for being a great fren jonathan! (x

I was kinda last min informed about ailin's b'dae celebration so I went down to find my brother later in the night. (: just in case you guys are wondering who is ailin, she's my brother's girlfriend! hahah.
I guess she enjoyed herself very much that night and it was a good time spent. (:

-cindy. (:

and HAHAH, I met this guy call Jon Zhuo Fang Ling from 绝对Superstar 2. he happened to be ailin's fren so yarr, took a picture with him. (: he look more dashing in real life. hahah. and he has a very nice singing voice.

SUNDAY, 05/04/09;
cell group meeting at sheryl's house! (:
fellowship at Chinapoint Mac after that and then back to sheryl's house.
home sweet home about 12am. (:

as for TODAY;
gonna head down to Jurong West later to help out for children church's Easter preparation! :D

P.S:
I'm gonna change my blogskin very soon! hahah. partly bec many told me about the strain in the eyes while reading my blog, especially my post are always quite lengthy! HAHAH. (:
so my sweet candice, you'll have no excuse of not reading my blog the next time!

-I'll keep running Lord, gonna kick off my old self and it's a brand new start again! :D
`You're my mighty God. (:

2009-04-02T04:31:00.005+08:00

-I guess I'm pretty high now, or perhaps yes..

just came back with my brother and his girlfriend from her work place.. drank quite abit with them. I think the fellowship was quite fine but I'm still very very moody.

I think there'll be times in life when one feel rejected and unwanted somehow yea? I just feel that people ard me just hate me. whatever I do, it's either dont seem genuine enough or they dont even bother. I can go all out to do anything for people that I care but all that I get are treatments that I dont feel I deserved. perhaps I'm just being very emo right now but it's just not my day or whatever. everything seem so screwed up. it just feels like I'm always the one giving in and whatever. is it bec I gave in so much till people just treat me like as if i'm transparent? everything I wanna do seems so impossible to be done. I wish that there's a hole that I can jump in and hide forever. at this point, I just feel so lonely! I'm so tired.

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

`Lord, I really need an answer, I feel really empty now.

2009-04-01T03:17:00.001+08:00

Am I at the point of no improvement?
What of the death I still dwell in?
I try to excel, but I feel no movement
Can I be free of this unreleasable sin?

Never underestimate my Jesus
You're telling me that there's no hope
I'm telling you you're wrong

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I throw up my hands
"Oh, the impossibilities"
Frustrated and tired
Where do I go from here?
Now I'm searching for the confidence I've lost so willingly
Overcoming these obstacles is overcoming my fear

Never underestimate my Jesus
You're telling me that there's no hope
I'm telling you you're wrong

Never underestimate my Jesus
When the world around you crumbles
He will be strong, He will be strong

I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
I think I can't, I think I can't
But I think you can, I think you can
Gather my insufficiencies and
place them in your hands, place them in your hands, place them in your hands

`speak to me Lord.

2009-03-31T14:25:00.003+08:00

I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE GUYS, please RELINK me.. THANX. (:

2009-03-30T21:01:00.003+08:00

-I woke up at 1+ in the afternoon today. feeling so much better alrdy. (: yesterday was really bad man, the flu caused me to have a slight fever.. urrgggg, flu!! hahah.

I witnessed an accident last friday, it actually got me thinking alot.
a car knocked over a motor bike while turning at a cross road junction. I was on the other side of where the accident happened, waiting to cross when the traffic light turns green. as I walked closer to the other side, I saw the motorcyclist lying on the ground unable to move his feets bec his left foot had tore open. when I reached the other side, I saw his wound with blood overflowing from his flesh. I felt so much like helping at that situation but there's actually not much I can do bec the drivers who knocked him down was already calling for help. the only thing I could do is to walk away so that the situation wont be more embarrassing or perhaps feel worse. I was kind of tramertized by the whole thing untill now, the image still stays clearly on my mind. it's also because that was my first time witnessing an accident in front of me.
it wasnt even raining, it was a bright and sunny day at about 3+ in the afternoon, just in a split second, the motorcyclist lost his left foot. I wouldnt know whether there'll be chances of him getting his feet back, but i certainly hope he will. I felt alot of pain for him. his family members will be so upset, especially himself. life will never be the same for him anymore.

I know that life is very precious, after witnessing wad happened, I felt it even more..

this also rings me of all the responsibilities I haven been fulfilling.
there're things in life that can't be controlled, but we can do our best for the present. as long as I'm well and heathy, I wanna do all that I can to achieve my desires and goals in life. I dont want one day to regret because I haven done my best.

although this year haven really been a smooth sailing one, I still fall off edges at times but God is good. He is faithful of holding me up again and again, restoring my broken soul so that I can move on and run this race! (:

I wont give up on myself for I know my Father in heaven will never give up on me! :D

-as usual, I took one whole day to blog this short post! (started at about 2pm) HAHAH.
`no matter what happens, I trust You. (:

2009-03-29T19:01:00.009+08:00

TUESDAY-THURSDAY, 24TH-26TH;
CHANGI CLASS CHALET WITH SECONDARY SCHOOLMATES! :D
the first day before meeting the peoples, caught movie; Street Fighter with joshy, leyee, mun and howe zhong. (: so after the show, I rushed straight to the chalet, reached there about 9+10pm. cant really remember.
some of the guys were bbq-ing with yanci while pearlyn was in the kitchen cooking sth I think. I was like walking ard the chalet looking at what's everyone doing. later in the night, the guys, felicia and me went night cycling while pearlyn, yan ci, joy, en en, amanda and justin stayed.
we cycled all the way to east coast macs, rested there for some time and then back. most of the guys kind of chiong back while felicia, sze an, feng yuan, derek and I cycled at a normal pace. the five of us reached the chalet at about 7+am. was very tired by then. I wasnt prepared to cycle actually, was in the wrong attire and all. but I went! hahah. it was fun lah. (:
I planned to just stay one night at first, but I felt like I staying for another day so I took my stuff and went straight home.
bathed, changed, got all the necessarty stuff and then headed back to chalet! :D I was back thre at about 12+pm when I saw some of them starting to play risk. I put my stuff in the room and went down to join them. didnt play, just sat and watched.
after that, I got hungry. muttaqin cooked some eggs plus tuna and share with me. (: went changi village with yanci and ttaqin after the finishing the eggs, pearlyn joined us awhile later at subway.
was real tired and feeling kinda unwell for the rest of the day due to not resting.. I went to one of the rooms to sleep at about 4+pm untill about 6pm. when I woke up, pearlyn and yan ci alrdy left to sheryl's hosue. I couldnt really remember wad I did for the rest of the time besides eating bbq food.
later in the night near 12am, I went cycling with the guys again. they planned to go airport to have supper.. I cant really describe where we went bec I'm not familiar with the roads we past, but I remembered we chiong one of the highway! it was really crazy man. I was very very scared but made it through! hahah. we din manage to get to airport in the end though, ate macs at tampines mall and then cycled back. reached chalet about 4+am. was dead tired by then man.
bathed, changed, walked ard to see wad the guys doing for awhile and then decided to sleep awhile. (:
cant remember, daryl or kuan woke me up when we were about to leave the place. I woke pearlyn up, packed my stuff and then goodbye chalet! hahah. (: the guys cycled to changi village to return the bikes while pearlyn and me headed to the bus stop.

-I kinda love this picture and it's the only one I edited so decided to post it. (:

-it was a wonderful gathering for me. it's been more than a year since I met the class after I left fairfield except for some. though fairfield din leave me a really good memory but I'm happy seeing all of them. (: I hope to have more gatherings with them.

LUNCH WITH GORGEOUS LEONG! ♥
so after leaving, we headed to commonwealth to wait for yan ci.. took 196 down to ard tajong pagar where xue min work. sheryl, yan ci, pearlyn and me settled at pasta mania and waited for her to come. it was a short but an awesome meet up! :D had alot of hillarious conversations going on. really missed her tonnesss, hope to meet up again soon!! (:
after that, home sweet home!! (: was really exhausted man. imagine sleeping for only 5 hours+ for two days.

and ohh, HAHAH. I got know this very nice justin through the chalet too. (: added him in facebook after I got home, had been chatting with him on msn these few days tooo. knowing him for just a short while only, but he's a really nice fren! and we've became Best-Late-Night-Chatting Buddies! :D hahah.

FRIDAY, 27/03/09;
woke up very late in the afternoon, like 2+pm.. I met qiyin at tiong baru for lunch and then headed to prudential for work. (: we left at 7+pm and headed to riverwalk for a combined cell group meeting while the guys are having man's conference at jurong west. (: the meeting was good, had a make-up course after the msg, I guess all of the girls learnt quite abit about how to put on make up in the correct way. as for me, I've gained even more knowledge about make up. (x
after everything, we walked to liang court to have our late dinner at macs. man, it was really crowded in the restaurant man. I guess those people just ended some gathering dinner or something.. so, we chop chop, finished our meals and went home. (:

SATURDAY, 28/03/09;
qing ming with my dad and bro in the morning, dad fetched me to church with a van that he rented after going for my mum's side. after I went, they headed to aujunied for my grandparent's side.
I thought I wouldnt be able to make it for the praise and worship lead by CCC Band but I made it! :D it was great. (: Pastor Phil's word was also powerful. I was pretty tired during service yesterday but the I jotted down all the important points. I'm blessed. (:
we went church opposite for dinner, fellowship awhile then headed to cine leisure.
home sweet home near 12am.

as for TODAY;
I woke up at 9+ in the morning, wanted to go support Faji's make up cell group but I was too tired. went back to sleep, woke up at 1+ in the afternoon and I've hooked onto the computer till now. hahah.
I dont know wads wrong with me, I'm feeling really unwell right now. ): got a very very bad flu.. I finally endured till I finish this post, so now I'm gonna take a short rest.
will be back on the com later in the night! (:

-I've lots of thoughts to pen down, I'll post it later on if I'm feeling fine. (:
`I have an awesom God that never lets me down. ♥

2009-03-22T00:59:00.002+08:00

HEY PEOPLE. (:
-it's been a week plus since I last blogged huh, was kinda busy lately. sorry for not updating..

MONDAY, 09/03/09;
bathed, changed and off to school to collect my O's certificate. I reached school about slightly past noon if I'm not wrong. was suppose to wait for joshy and val at the bus stop before entering the school, but it happened that we alighted from our buses at the same time. hahah. so we headed into school. after collecting our cert, went up to the office to find the teachers! (:
that very day was actually MR SUPERMAN'S B'DAE! (x
man, I almost forgotten about it I tell you! untill the moment I stepped into the staffroom. (: didnt really prepared anything for him, but will give him a belated present!! ((: hahah. we met jodie in the office while waiting waiting for Mr S's reply to whether he going lunch with us. in the end, 3 of us went lunch with jodie, while Mr S said he'll join us for desert at a later time.
had a wonderful lunch with jodie at BMC, headed back to school. slacked ard at the staffroom awhile and then off with Mr S to Tiong Baru Plaza for desert! (: I still can recall, that day was super hot man. perspired like mad when we reached our destination. settled down at the desert stall located at B1, val and me snecked out to buy a cake for Mr S. we bought a Lemon Cheese Cake and sang him a b'dae song on the spot. hahah. he sure was very happy at that moment. (:
after snapping a few photos, time for our long-waited icy cold deserts! :D and of cos, it was on our dear teacher's treat. hahah.

so now, photos time! (:
-hope it's not too small for viewing.

it wasn't a really good day for me to begin with actually, the second job that was offered to me didnt turn out the way I expected and I was pretty bothered by it.
initially, I thought that it's really good to try it out, I was really persistant and my intention was purely about finding out if I'm up to de job bec de pay was really attractive at my current situation. but, I think I've really made a wrong choice. or perhaps met the wrong person that brought me in.
I dont really want to go too much into details on wad happened though, the good thing is that I've quit the job thank God for NO-MORE-PESTERING. and I'm feeling much better now alrdy. (:

to JODIE, JOSHY and VAL;
thanx alot guys. thanx for going all the way just to be there with me so that I dont have to face the situation all alone. I can imagine without you guys there, I'll be totally stuck and dont know how to speak up. I've really learned my lesson this time, I'll never share anything personal to someone whom I'm not really familiar with again.

to PB;
I dont know if you'll read this. but I wanna say a big sorry to you. I can sense the amount of care you gave when I wanted to accept the job. sorry for neglecting your care. I really really appreciate everything pb, you're really a good fren. thank you, thank you very much.

TUESDAY, 10/03/09;
went karen's office to look for her for the job. (: that day went pretty well. just a little nervous while calling bec it's my very very first time! hahah. perhaps VERY NERVOUS. lol. hmm, I forgot was happened for the rest of the day. hahah.

WEDNESDAY, 11/03/09;
I can only remember I went to work in karen's office. HAHAH. (:

THURSDAY, 12/03/09;
went for work in the morning till 2pm and then off to cathay to watch movie with pin de. (:
movie title; Marley & Me. it was a really nice and touching show, worth the watch. go catch it for those who have yet to do so! (x
after the show, nice pin de accompany me for my dinner at BK. (:
I went to find my cell group at harbourfront after that while pin de left for something else.
they went to Sakae to have the lunch buffet before I joined them. met them, walked ard vivo and then went to the arcade. bing rong and kuan left slightly past evening while the rest of us headed down to paradize centre. at first the guys wanted to play lan over there, but it was very crowded so we went to eat at one of the Jap retaurant instead. (:
after eugene left, there's only kian hwee, yan ci, guan xian and me. I forgot how, we ended up at marina square's mac discussing where to go to hang out awhile more before going home.
I suggested going harry's pub as it was the only place nearby that will be nice to hang out. hahah. (: guan xian and I shared one harry's beer and one absolute pear flavoured vodka. (: kian hwee tried a sip of the vodka. after that, we had a short "dirty little secrets" sharing. hahahah.
home sweet home near 12am I think.

FRIDAY, 13/03/09;
this day was the first day of the job joshy introduced to me, venue at liang court.
at first, I was pretty nervous and didnt really dare to stretch out and give the flyers but slowly I got the hang of it. (:
before rui yuan joined us, mun, joshy and I team up. after he arrived, we split into two groups: joshy and mun, rui yuan and me. (: that two hours went very smoothly but abit tiring. rui yuan stayed back to do other job offered to him, not sure about the other two.
I left very soon after signing out, rushed off from Liang Court to school to settle my o level stuff.
when done, took a cab down to delta swimming complex to meet qiyin for our weekly swim fellowship. some SUPER HILLARIOUS incident happened in between our swim. it was very dramatic. wanna know? ask me! :D hahah. (:
-sorry that I was late again fren, I'll be early for the next meeting okay! it's a promise. (:
after cleaning up, we went to tiong baru's qiji to have our dinner. I rushed off to prudential after that while qiyin went to find her mum.
did my second job of the day for two hours and then headed home!
was really really tired that night due to all the activities in the day.

SATURDAY, 14/03/09;
work from 12-6pm, breaks in between every time slots. Jodie joined us that day! ((: mun couldnt make it so his fren howe chong replaced him. I hope I didnt spell his name wrongly. had quite alot of fun that day during work.
went off to find my cell group to fellowship at ps in the night. (: after fellowship, headed home.
I wasn't exactly feeling very good that day, having some mood swing and something not very pleasant happened during the fellowship. arghh, a bad day for me despite all the fun I had in the day! D: but I still praise God for everything, for I know He will blow away all the heavy clouds. (:

SUNDAY, 15/03/09;
work was cancelled if I didnt recall wrongly, reason was bec flyers ran out.
I forgot wad happened but in the afternoon went to find sheryl and some of the rest to jam. in between, my mood swung again. I was angered by something in the jamming room and went off to mac to wait for them while I decided to had my dinner first. they joined me after they ended and had their dinners there too.
when we left mac, I was feeling much better alrdy. we walked to chinatown point to find huiming and then off to sheryl's place.
the guys was actually planning to find songs to play for the next jamming session but in the end we did other stuff. eugene discovered two board games on sheryl's shelf, after some discussion, we decided to stay overnight at her place to play! hahah. we ended the game at 3+am and decided to watch Just My Luck. we were all dead sleeping by 5+am the next morning except sheryl. she's still reading the bible, not sure wad time she slept. we left her house pass 8am the next day and I cabbed home.

MONDAY, 16/03/09;
I was suppose to be at work at 2pm in prudential, but I stayed home. due to the previous night stay over, I wasn't feeing well fo th rest of the day. I woke up at about 11+am then went back to sleep till 430pm. so after I woke up, I camp at my com. hahah. daddy bought me dinner in the evening. (:
rest of the day was mostly on the com and nothing else.

-to be honest, I felt very guilty that day bec of my irresponsible act. I mean I can have fun and everything but got to make sure I have energy for work the next day. the thing is I didnt get enough rest. no more next time!

TUESDAY, 17/03/09;
met mun and ks to watch Race To Witch Mountain in the afternoon. had pepper lunch for dinner at ps and then off to work at prudential. (: after work, home sweet home!

WEDNESDAY, 18/03/09;
was suppose to work in the afteroon with joshy and the rest but was cancelled, so I slacked the whole day at home using com. went out in the night to catch My Bloody Valentine with paxson. home sweet home after the show. (:

-Fanboys

THURSDAY, 19/03/09;
Evangelism Explosion! (:
sadly, I missed the very 1st session. made it for the second and third. (: the two that I've attended were very good and I was deeply impacted by them, especially the second session which talks about "love". God once again reminded me of the importance of having love for people ard us. we do not only love those that love us, also love those that doesnt love us. that is what makes love amazing, it is able to accept things beyond our boundary. (: I pray that I'll have more love in my heart and care for everyone that's around me! :D

FRIDAY, 20/03/09;
I woke up late and was late for joshy's job.. there was only joshy, leyee and me that day. we ended at 2pm. after that, I head down to tessa's house to visit her. (: ealier raymon was at her place and they ordered pizza, they couldnt finish and left two slices, guess wad? heeee, I had them all. I was so hungry man. thank God for tessa! hahah.
I slacked awhile at her place using her lappy, left at 540pm and headed to my second job. I was again late. ): man! I got to start managing my time. I ended work at 930pm and then headed home.
I was actually planning to use the com for the night finishing this super duper long post. I had been blogging this one post for dont know how many days alrdy lah. and yarr back to topic, I'll make it short. jia rong, kuan, nic tan and ying ying planned to go night cycling that night and they short of one bike so they came my house to borrow... then when they gonna leave alrdy, I wanted so much to join them. and... in the end I went with them. hahah.
the best part starts here;
we cycled from my house - lao pa sa - singapore flyer - tiong baru - bukit batok - back.
we started at 1+am all the way to pass 7am long, I thought I could endure untill my house... I stopped at kuan's place and bused home. man, I felt like a real zombie on the way home lah. I never cycled so long in my entire life before. hahah. but it is fun, really fun lah. (: just that next time I wanna do so, got to make sure that I rest for a full day first. that way, at least I wont feel so horrible.

-singapore flyers.

SATURDAY, 22/03/09;
due to only two hours of sleep after returning from cycling, I wasnt feeling well for the day. I wanted very much to stay at home and rest but I couldnt find anyone to replace me for my work so no choice. I was late again today as usual.
we did the same rounds, escalaor, carpark and around liang court. by God's grace, I endured through. (: actaully planned to meet jodie for dinner, was cancelled. I was too tired plus we didnt comfirm a fix time and venue.
reached home, bathed and waited for my dinner to be bought home by daddy. ((: after which, I stayed infront of the com till now.
I started typing this post on the 10th, and now, finally I'm done! :D

-red bull mini

-howe zhong acting a strong bull. hahah.

-2009 is really a big and challenging one for me. even so, I'm not gonna give up this tough race that I'm running. I know as I begin to learn and set right goals in my life, practising them as I grow, I'll be successful in all things that I do. (: rejections, struggles, disappointments and whatever that pulls me down will be gone in no time bec I know my God is greater than all this! :D I'm gonna throw away all my complaints and start loving every single moment of my life. gonna enjoy the experience I'll be facing to overcome osticles! janet can do it! (x
`You're my Magnificient God, I know that with You, impossible is nothing! (:

2009-03-09T05:39:00.014+08:00

HEY GUYS.
I'm really tired now but I just so much feel like blogging.

looking at the date of my last post, I really feel that time flies really really quickly. when life gets very busy, a day feels like just an hour long. sometimes, I really wish I have superpowers, doing the things I need to all in one. that way, I can save up so much more time to do other stuff. but if things went so simple, life wouldnt be as interesting anymore. in the past, I'll complain about all the things that I didnt like and keep dwelling in those negative thoughts. I thank God that now I can see all those fun and amazing experiences I gained through all the "disliking things". if you guys get wad I mean, yarr. (:

to be honest, I didnt really feel good these days. hmm, I was happy at first bec God answered my prayer. He gave me 3 jobs after I lost my tuition job due to some personal reasons. but felt really uneasy about the second job that was offered to me. most of de people didnt agree about me joining it. so I'm quite confused still.

but on the other hand, the third job that I've gotten was really a blessing. I love the environment, lthe timing and most of all, the pay. it's higher than expected. really wanna thank karen for the opportunity. (:

spiritual side, I feel that I haven been faithful with the little things this time round. I know I can do so much more to improve in certain things. just kinda sad that all the things are a can-be done one. well, instead of dwelling in it, I'll make a stand to be more faithful the next time and the many times to come.

-thanx for coming back my beloved candice. ♥

-knowing what's a need and meet it.
`thank You Lord for the open doors. (:

2009-03-02T16:58:00.001+08:00

THURSDAY, 26/02/09;
went over to adrian's birthday chalet to have fun. Happy 19th! (: I bought chips to share with them before heading to the chalet. later on near evening we were all so hungry so one of adrian's fren(forgot her name) offer to cooked the meggy noodles john bought for us. (: we spam noodles like crazy. adrian's fren and me ate like the most, one bowl of korean flavoured and two packets of tom yam flavoured. HAHAH. after that was like very very full for me. oh, hahah. we added martel into our tom yam noodles and it taste quite nice though. (: was a great gathering with them that day and I'm looking forward to the next hang out! :D

-this is a pictures of jeremy trying enter the house through window so he dont have to walk a long way to the front door, tessa & adrian did the same. it's really funny, hahah.

FRIDAY's activities are written in the post below this. (:

SATURDAY, 28/02/09;
had an awesome service, rounding up the 5 Needs of Women and men. the drama is really interesting. hahah. (: after service, we went rivera for debrief and then to cafe to have our dinner and fellowship. after that, we went JP to meet up with pearlyn and headed to Taka. pearlyn wanted to get something but that day the shopping centre closed early. sheryl haven eaten and wanted to go Swensens and so we headed there and settle down. (:
sheryl is always so generous, she treat most of the people drinks which is not very cheap at a restaurant like swens, plus gst charges too. when I'm rich, one person that I'll never never forget is her; my bestest buddy in the world! :D
home sweet home slightly pass 12am. (:

-snapped pictures with huiwen and ros before we left JP. (:

SUNDAY, 01/03/09;
we had a wonderful worship and word session with faji, title of message is Building Better Relationships. I think this is a very good message for us. (: after cell group meeting, we stayed awhile for the refreshments and headed down to Dhoby Ghaut.
speaking about DB, thanx W388. think you guys should know wad I meant huh. hahahah. k lah, I shall share, I text them the wrong word, "Dhoby Goat". go on, laugh all you want readers. hahah. ei chien, sheryl and I left and went Chinatown Point after leaving JP as they wanna finish up their homework. sheryl kept complaining that she wished she's like me now, nothing to do at all. on another hand, I wanna be like her with something to do man. somemore I'm like still stuck, not knowing where's my final destination and confused. argh. nevertheless, I trust God! (:
I reached home pass 12am that day.

as for YESTERDAY, 02/03/09;
was at home the whole day untill evening. went for the job orientation, some of you may know wad am I talking about. it's like a few hours long man. after that, went sheryl's place. (: reached home really late again, pass 1230am.

as for TODAY;
suppose to go fort he training thingy but wasnt feeling well so going tmrr instead, meeting chien later on to return her phone. I'm gonna finish watching at least 3 more episodes of Coffee Prince tonight! :D

about the job, if you guys really want to know how I feel, I wanna give it a try. I mean there's no harm done to me if I take it or not. and it's like still quite before I get my results, if I take it at least there's someting for me to do. I'm now 80% considering a yes. let me know if you guys have anything to add on. thanx. (:

-I'm worried and confused, but still I thank God for everything.
`show me Your light Lord.

lastly, wanna help two frens advertise their blogshop;

CANDICE;
http://glamourouschic.livejournal.com/

PEIXIAN;

Hi guys! Eileen & Peixian have set up their online boutique called OnePointFives. The reason behind their name is because both of them are 1.55m tall. They are going to launch their frst collection on Saturday March 7 at 1pm! Do join their mailing list to get the latest update and mailing listees get to enjoy discounts too! It's a double benefit! All apparels at Onepointfives are set at reasonable prices for all you girls out there!

Visit Www.onepointfives.blogspot.com and join their mailing list now!!!

so, do drop in to take a look. (:

2009-02-27T21:50:00.001+08:00

BOO! :D

today is a wonderful day! (: woke up about 11am, bathed, changed and off to meet qiyin for a swim! before heading to the swimming pool, met her at tiong baru plaza. I need to get small bottles of shampoo and soap while she needs to get a pair of goggles (that blur girl forgot to bring). after getting everything, we decided to take a bus. HAHAH, we hopped on the wrong bus bec I thought 195 stops outside the stadium. ahah. wanted to minimise walking but in the end we got to walk an even longer path! oh well, it's a good warming up before the swim though! (:
sadly, I didnt swam as many laps as I expected. was feeling kinda lethargic today. =/ I wanna train myself to at least swim 10 laps each time. I'm loving swimming more and more! :D
after leaving the stadium, we walked to tiong baru. qiyin got to go off and I'm gonna FINALLY have a hair cut! heheh. had been waiting so long for a free time to get it done. and heheh, I'm here blogging with my wonderful and lovely hair.
I love my daddy to bits man! ♥
despite my irresponsible spending during dec holiday last year, he granted me with my First Most Expensive Hair Cut. (x love him so so so much!! :D not gonna say wad I did to my hair, you guys wanna know, MEET ME! xP heheheh.

as for the night, think I'm just gonna bath, eat and mayb watch dvd. (: and of cos, I'm gonna spend a lovely time talking to my Abba Father later! (x

-I'm feeling happy today. ((:
`I love soaking myself in Your presense Lord, make me whole. (:

2009-02-24T19:18:00.000+08:00

MY COM IS HAVING NIGHT FEAR. hahah.
-it only allows me to switch it on in the DAY, irritating.

FRIDAY, 20/02/09;
went Sentosa with joy and hui zhen. (: we reached the beach about slightly pass 3pm.. and there's no more bright sun, so couldnt really sun tanne. so we just stayed at the beach to slack. played water with joy, we all wrote our names on the sand floor and posed. hahahah. then we decided to leave, that two girls wanna rent bikes and I got to leave soon so yarr. before renting the bikes, we had New Zealand ice creams, it was delicious. I left after cleaning up while that two stayed there and have fun. had a great time there though it was just a short one. (x looking forward to the next sentosa trip again this week! :D
rushed home, bathed, changed and off to Mini Emerge! (x
it was an awesome meeting with Pastor Zhuang. I felt God's power pouring through me once again, restoring my vision to serve Him in a better way. I would say it's so unworthy of me to be forgiven for all the sins I've done. but still, He forgives and embrace me with everlasting love. I'm more than blessed.
went opposite church to fellowship awhile and home sweet home! (:

SATURDAY, 21/02/09;
wasn't a very good day for me.. not feeling very well that day and something not very nice happened. still, praise God for His presence. (: candice and hui zhen joined us that day! hui zhen came at the later part for the day and joined us for Board Game Mania. that two ladies left earlier, so after Board Game Mania, went JP with some of my cell group memebrs to fellowship for a short while before we head home. (: thank God for a good fellowship! :D

SUNDAY, 22/02/09;
caught a movie with pb, He's Just Not That Into You. (:
he's meeting his fren after the show and me, back home to rest. wanted to meet up with sheryl, kh and yan ci but didnt. in the night, went autospot with my bro. I kept bugging him to buy me chicken wings from nearby there so he got no choice! hahah. I stayed there till about 2am then came home myself.my com was back working that night so I hooked onto it till about 4-5am? ahah.

`goodbye stella. (:

MONDAY, 23/02/09;
after I woke up, hooked to the com till 6+ in the evening. hahah. went sheryl's place in the night to slack. was actually suppose to meet her at Chinatown Point about 530pm, but.. HAHAH. (: I reached home slightly before 12am I think. bathed, cooked meggy mee and then went to my room and slack again. was reading harvest times till I fall asleep. ahahahah.

as for TODAY;
hooked to my com again! :D hahah.
met jesline for lunch at Tiong just now! (: we had a great time chating. heheheh.
-let's go for lunch more often! ♥
actually meeting sheryl for dinner at ps, was postoned. meeting her tmrr instead! (: I'm gonna have a good hair cut, out of shape alrdy. hahah. as for now, gonna eat again! heheh. will update soon! :D

-I'm going into perfection! (:
`I love Your presence Lord.

2009-02-23T23:28:00.001+08:00

Love, Save The Empty -Erin McCarley
Featuring movie; He's Just Not That Into You
-kindly pause my imeem player under music on the right to hear this. (:

2009-02-15T03:53:00.007+08:00

I'm always always inspired by cindy's post. hahah. I dont know why, but reading her every entry that speaks of her faith makes me feel encouraged and want to rise up and do even greater things for God. though I dont know her well, but I thank God I got to know her. she's a really friendly and super nice leader. (x

I've always been blogging about the things I did in a day and very less about how I feel or about myself, mayb I should change. adding more of my thoughts in a post. (: recently, I feel that God had been speaking to me alot about what I am going through everyday. in many areas too, I'll list whatever I can. enjoy reading! :D

(in the area of studies)
firstly, after releasing of o's, haven been feeling good at all. was really discouraged and felt like just giving up my studies. sometimes it's not that I cannot do it, but I am lazy. as a result, causing me to do badly in exams and thus my faith gone down. it's a good thing that I know what went wrong, there's still alot of rooms to improve! (: I really thank God for great leaders and friends ard me, especially those who're close to me. God is good to me; He'll never fail to lift me up from all the sorrows, always there right by my side holding me.
He is the only God that will always be faithful EVEN when I am not faithful.
after much thinking and consideration about what I want to do to carry on with studies, I decided to apply DAE(Direct Admission Exercise) to RP for New Media.my initial intention was to go re-register for CHEC and retake o's so that I can aim for Multimedia & Inforcom Technology in NYP, after hearing from mun one day, I went to look through the courses that RP provides that's quite similar to the one I wanted and found New Media. so I went the next day to apply, results will only commence late march. was really hoping to get into that until I went I went for interview in chec on friday. my two teachers went through with me what's necessary and realised if I take private diploma will be a wiser choice as to what I want to aim for now; Early Childhood Education. bec if I really gonna retake o's, thought I could aim higher and get into better courses. so heeding the teacherses advise, I decided to head down to the private dip school to have a look. there's this guy if I didnt guss wrongly he should be a lecturer there, went through everything with me and gave me a clearer picture of what that diploma was about. if I were to choose the Early Childhood Education Diploma, I'll have to retake my O's, if I choose to go for the New Media, I'll also have to register for O's in case I dont get in. I'm still hesitating on what I really want to do now.. for the time being now, I'll start school in CHEC first while waiting for posting.

secondly, on my (spiritual side). okay, I think some may start laughing after reading the following sentence; I always felt very inspired to pray to God whenever I'm in the bathroom.
dont ask me why man, mayb bec I love to close my eyes while showering and then I'll fall deeply in thoughts about everything that's happening. to be honest, I'm not consistent in doing my quiet time. I believe I can do so do much more to communicate with God but I'm just not doing it. sheryl had always been sharing with me about doing her quiet time and I really felt bad. it's like God speaking to me: "janet, I will continue to wait for you to speak to me. please start to pray to me."
I have yet to do something about it but I am gonna change after this post. going for 4 evening prayer meetings and 1 in the morning had really enlarge my capacity of praying to God. on the first day itself I was so afraid to pray individually.. you know the feeling of doing something with friends and alone in the middle of alot alot of people? if you get what I mean, yar. never did a personal communicating moment with God with anyone beside me before. but throughout the week as I start praying to God more, I'm not that fearful anymore. instead, I felt my Holy Spirit leading me in my prayers. (: the feeling of God moving in me is really extraordinary! another inspiration for me to start praying to God regularly.
God is really good.

(other areas) will be area in reaching out to all my dearly loved ones, I'm so moved by God that I want to start creating strong and firm relationships with all my frens. especially my family members; I'm gonna strike off the part on my family's salvation which I 've placed under "Revolutions for 2009!" in this page.

-I'm believing in God to use me in a greater way this year;
for Greater things have yet to come,
Greater things are still to be done here.
I'll make it, turning impossible to possible! AMEN!
`my forever Faithful Abba Father, I am committing my life to You once again.

2009-02-02T20:18:00.002+08:00

HA HA HA.
I've finally started to clear things in my room! :D I'm still halfway to a total clean and neat room! oh man, cant wait. (x heheheh.
hmm, I decided to post a short post here bec I found something really interesting. (: it's this little note I jotted from candice room a few years back.

Rules Of Life.

1. I love you not because who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, wont make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be just someone, but to someone you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will learn how to be grateful.
(not for everyone?)

10. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that will hurt you, so, what you have to do is keep on trusting and be careful about who you trust the next time round.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best thing comes when you least expect them to.

isn't that kind of interesting? hahahahah. I wanted to change the title to the "Rules of Love". hahahahah! okay, that's for leisure. (: alrighty, gonna go back to my packing.

-let your yes be a yes, a no be a no. (:
`thank You Lord, You always answer prayers! (x

2009-01-30T01:49:00.001+08:00

HELLO HELLO HELLO PEOPLES. (:
time for me to update! (: hahahah. I'm like getting more and more lazy to post.... but I still love to share my life with loved frens so here I am! :D

FRIDAY, 23/01/09;
forgot what I do on the day. went to give tuition in the evening.. hahah, took some funny videos of my student. she's really really cute. I'll upload the videos later. (: I've actually decided to go home to have a good rest after tuition but I changed my mind. ahah. went home, bathed, changed and out again. decided to go zouk to celebrate pb's camp mate, andrew's b'dae. (x went clake quay to find my bro awhile then off to meet pb. had quite a fun time there with them all. (: met some familiar faces there. went to have supper together and home sweet home! (:

STELLA!

SUNDAY-TUESDAY, 25-27/01/09;
MALACCA + KL trip with sheryl! (x
first day was spent at malacca, took 5 star tour bus there. upon reaching, sheryl's mum fren liping's husband fetched us to her house. settled our stuff down, changed and off to shopping! :D we stayed one night at her house before setting off to KL. (: that night, for the first time I ever heard and saw real fire crackers, as in really big and long ones. it's really really LOUD. hahah. (: it went on and on for more than 10mins, and more than 10 long stripes. super cool lah.

FIRE CRACKERS

second day, prepared and set off at about 12+ in the noon, we reached Sunway near 4pm. we've prepared to have great fun in the water even before going there BUT... sadly, my da yi ma came! ): orhh well, thank God there's shopping centre there! and it's huge man. I really shopped like crazy. I cant really remember wad we ate.. but after dinner we were back to our hotel rooms to rest. was actually feeling kinda emo after shopping, cos I overspent BIG TIME. ):
that day alone;
-one full set compact powder from Clinque
-two tops from Springfield, one tube top & one blowse
-two bras from La Senza
-one liquid eye liner from Anna Sui
I wanted to get a gift for daddy, realised I really spent alot on myself that day.. well.

third day, went for breakfast buffet. after breakfast, I went back to the hotel room bec my tummy isnt feeling well. went to shop myself again after that, I decided to get the gift I wanted to for daddy despite knowing that daddy will be really upset looking at the amount I spent. I'm gonna give daddy my next tuition pay. as for the gift, I'm only gonna give it to him on his birthday. I think he'll love it. (: checked out, went to eat and then time to bus home. home sweet home at 12+am.

-didnt really enjoyed the trip much.. even on the first day itself, I wasnt feeling well alrdy. keep having discomfort in my tummy. I hope to go there again next time and really enjoy myself. (:

WEDNESDAY, 28/01/09;
movie, love matters with jiayu and kuan sheng and then off for CANDICE'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION. (: she had a great time that day. once again, HAPPY 18TH! (x
got to get photos from candice to post them..

THURSDAY, 29/01/09;
went mun's house to slack. played his com, played guitar hero, watched metero garden.. (: hahah. went home about 630pm and head home as daddy's cooking dinner. (x joshy came over in the night from his girlfriend's place bec he was bored. hahah. he left about 1+am. was pretty tired that day, sorry joshy. walked him to get a cab and then came back home. changed and straight off to my bed! HAHAH.

-sorry candice, wasnt able to go over that night. I really wanted to so much to spend your 18th b'dae with you, please believe me.

as for yesterday, I met pb in the noon for movie. (x watched Alls Well Ends Well. not bad lah, just that the show is abit boring. after movie, pb got to set off for cell group so took train with him. (: we parted at city hall and I came home.

-I love the gift, thanx hunk. hope you like the shirt too! :D

`I'm dazzled, enlightened me Lord. (:

2009-01-23T01:29:00.002+08:00

BOOOOOOOOOO PEEPERSSSS! (x
sorry for not updating for quite awhile.. after the the very emo post below, I slowly recovered from that very big blow. I couldnt really overcome my emotions over my results and thought this year will be a gone case for me, but evertually I overcomed it and I experienced breakthroughs tooo. (: really thank God for placing wonderful teachers and friends ard me. many of my friends msg and ask about how I'm feeling, some encouraged me. I mean all these are very common, but to me one of my love language is words of encouragement. it means alot to me when someone care and ask about me. after this wake up call, I started to be more serious in things I'm doing. and is like God opened another eye for me, it's like I start to see and understand things even better than last time. praise God for all things! :D haven been blogging for so long, so now I'll just make a short updating for these two weeks. (:

SUNDAY, 04/01/09;
Thanksgiving Party at shuwen's place. (: had games, had praise, sang appreciation song, xue min shared her speech and then a surprise for her after that! (x pearlyn shared a word of appreciation for xue min on the behave of the cell group, sheryl and I did a song item for her. (x orhh man, I'm really nervous singing infront of everyone I tell you! HAHAH. got to restart a few times bec I keep coming in at the wrong time. ahah. but at last, we finished the song and xue min enjoyed it! :D heheh. then, time for us to present our gifts to her... then we had our christmas gift exchange.. I'll call the game pass-music-stop-yours game. HAHAH.dont get it? ask me. (: while fellowshipping, xue min gave us our gifts one by one personally. we all received a correction tape from her. it's all of different cartoon character and shape. I got a doramon one, picture below! (x really love it! thanx Gorgeous Leong! xD I got a bear money saver from the gift exchange by huiming, a personal gift piggy bank from sheryl and a personal gift roxy pencil case from qiyin. LOVE them all! (x

of cos not forgetting PB! :D he bought me a belt and I love it! <3>

SATURDAY, 17/01/09;
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANET!! xD
I though I wont get to celebrate it bec of results.. but thank God that I felt better. (: it was a full church day. had service and straight down for cell group meeting. my cell group celebrated it with me when cell meeting ended. (x though it's just a short celebration but I'm really really touched, especially upon seeing my present!! :D PRECIOUS MOMENTS BIBLE!! ((x have been praying for a bible since very long and God really answers prayers. I wanted to start this year really well with reading the bible even more faithfully and TADA! He encouraged me even more to read His word by blessing me with such an awesome gift! how Great is my God! (:

-thank you W388! really really love you guys to bits.

apart from that, huiming wrote me a handmade card! it's super super precious!
-thanx girl, I really love it. (x

shuwen bought me a headband! (x
-thank you sweet little angel! (:

-I'm really really thankful for everything that I've got this year. it's only the first month of 2009 and I feel really blessed alrdy. (x thank you everyone who stood by me encouraging me when I'm at my most down moments, every little word of concern means a million to me! I love you guys. I pray that you guys will received the greatest happiness tooo!
`I want to serve You with all my heart. (: use me.

2009-01-14T01:02:00.002+08:00

many times I thought I've alrdy experienced my wake up call. but the feeling that hurt so much inside now really seem to be the real wake up call for me. I could have studied harder, I could have played lesser, I could have do so much better. but wads the point of saying all this when everything had alrdy set it's destiny. I wish I can say I hate myself because it really hurts so badly. I dont know how many buckets of tears I'm gonna store to remove all these mixed feelings inside. it's so painful. and I dont know how many hugs I need to really feel the care. I had expected that I wont do very well this time and thought I could overcome it and start over. but right no, the answeer is no. I cant bring myself to move on. everyone else did so much better than me. why in the first place did I not work hard! why in the first place did I take it so easy! now I've wasted my dad's money and I know, he is feeling very bad. I know, those frens that stood by me, those that asked, they really cared. I can tell you guys I really appreciate it. it's just that I can't express out anything now. I feel really emotional. I dont know how long I'll take to get up again, but for the time being just let me be. I'm sorry.

`I haven been faithful Lord.

2009-01-09T05:15:00.004+08:00

HELLO FELLOW READERS.

firstly, wanna thank the people who sent me New Year Wishes. (x

-Gideon
-Nat
-Donna
-CheeHow
-XueMin
-Joshy
-Eugene Cheong
-QiYin
-Tuiton Teacher
-Pearlyn
-WeeBoon
-BingRong
-Shane
-DanielLim
-Candice
-Eunice
-Isaac
-Anthony
-Stevenson
-Jasmine

I wished all a very HAPPY 2009 too! (:

spent more than half a day at Ngee Ann open house yesterday.
was suppose to explore SP with joshy and val earlier but I came late so yarr, missed it. took a bus from dover to NP and gary joined us there.
reached, walk awhile about some booths, took goodie bag then went to eat.
joshy, val and gary left after eating, ting and me stayed bec I wanted to go to a few blocks of the courses I'm interested to look around. wan ting's really nice to stay with me throughout the open house, had lots of fun joking ard with her. (x hahah.
left the place past 630pm, decided to go to her place as I didnt wanna go home early. had dinner there, watched 9pm show and then headed home. I reached home about 12am? didnt look at the clock. hahah. and so that's all that happened yesterday.

I never thought that my life is bad ever since the day I gave it to the Lord, but I just cant overcome those hurts I had experienced before. I HATE IT! really hate it so much. a few days back, someone reminded me, "once bitten, twice shy". two years back it was like that, and emotions were really strong.
I tried so hard to open myself up, wanted so much to be back one that used to share and express out everything I want to freely but I just cant. I cant figure out wads really holding me back and that feeling really sucks. there're many things I wished to share, but I just cant seem to speak out. I feel really lousy sometimes but had to bottle it up. I never like bottling up feelings, but for the time being, I really cant let go.
I just hate showing the emotional side of me bec it's full of negativity, sorry guys. I just need a little space to emo. I thank those who wanna leave a word of concern in advance but please dont ask me what happened for the time being..

-that cover is really heavy, I wanna take it off!
`You're my strength, I just want to .

2009-01-05T18:00:00.002+08:00

-are looks really very important? hahah.

that question just suddenly pop out in my head. I guess when every girl starts to grow up and mature, this thought will naturally appears in the mind. which girl dont want to look fabulous? thinking about that, another root goes to money. some say money is everything. is like without money, you wont even be able to get nice clothing to fill your closet. I think the "wants" that every girl wants will never be able to end, agree?
I think I need to marry a RICH MAN, because I wont be able to say "no more shopping for me". hahah.dolling myself up had seem to become more and more important these days, I think I'm really starting to turn into a very vain pot. HAHAH.
till then, take care peepoos. (:

`You'll always be my Only Need. (:

2009-01-04T20:30:00.001+08:00

Ne-Yo- Miss Independent

I've recently fallen in love with this song! xD

sorry for not updating.. my com is still down!! ),:

my days are really fine so far. heheh. wil update SOON.

plus photoooossss tooo. (x

TAKE CARE PEEPS! :D

`My life is forever Your song. (x

2008-12-31T18:14:00.002+08:00

HELLO HELLO HELLO! (:
my com broke down again lah, cant really blog. ):
anyway, I wanna thank all those who have wished me Merry Christmas. (:

-PEGGY MOI!! (x
-WeeBoon
-Tizane
-BingRong
-Joshy
-Joshua
-Heshen
-Jesline
-Eugene Cheong
-Pearlyn
-Davis
-SiWei
-Jasmine
-Daniel Lim
-Tuition Teacher
-GuanXian
-Nat
-Gavin! :D
-Annie

there's still 6 days of Christmas, so HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! (x

& on the request from my beloved fren CANDICE YONG:-
here's her blogshop link; http://glamourouschic.livejournal.com/
PLEASE DO VISIT! :D

-I'm thankful for everything.
`Jesus, I need Your assurance.

2008-12-24T14:32:00.002+08:00

HELLO MY DEAR BLOG READERS! ((:
-sorry that I haven been updating since coming back from my trip, had been kinda busy though.. so let me know do a good post! (x

Firstly, MALAYSIA;
I've alrdy blog about it in the earlier post, so I'll upload the pictures now. (:

Secondly, VIETNAM;
it had been a great trip! (: after returning from Malaysia, I find myself getting closer to daddy. going to Vietnam with him is another great and loving experience! I thank God for the restoration of our relationship, and I also thank God that both my aunts and one uncle came along. (:
Vietnam has a beautiful llife experience to me. for those who dont know, it was actually a second time travelling there for me, and along with a tour this time. their roads are always FILLED WTH MORTOCYCLES! hahah. you got to go there and see man! it's like more than millions of them on the road during their pick hours. the tourist told us that if one can drive at Vietnam, he can be called an expert driver. HAHAH. the traffic there is really MESSY but organised, that is why their car accident rate is very low.
and one thing I must say, though they are a backward and poor country, the way they work hard for a living shows the strong side of them. though it's sometimes irritating when they keep pestering you to buy their products but their determination are really strong man. imagine yourself upon getting rejected by thousands and thousands of tourist yet not giving up but continue to work hard and earn for a living. for many of us Singaporeans, we'll chose to give up. they really have a wonderful spirit.
and now for people who're considering going there for holiday, just want to let you guys know that it's not a place for shopping! HAHAH. (: but try to imagine yourself being a citizen there, experience their culture!
-going back to Vietnam really brings back wonderful memories I have with my my wonderful schoolmates in Fairfield during my first trip there, reminded of the fun times we had there. MISS THEM LOADS MAN.

FOR VIETNAM TRIP PHOTOS;
I have many many wonderful pictures but sorry guys, think I'll upload them on Facebook bec there's really tooo many for me to post them here. sorry for those that doesnt have facebook acct, I'll try to upload really interesting photos here when I have time. (:
BUT IF ANY ARE DYING TO SEE IT, TELL ME! HAHAH. *just kidding.*

I got to start isolating myself from spending alrdy, TOO MUCH TOO MUCH! hahah. DADDY IS REALLY WONDERFUL MAN! okayy, I'll upload some photos of the things I've bought from Malaysia.

daddy really spent alot on my brother and myself, felt really bad. ): is like after returning from M'sia, Vietnam is another bomb. when I start to work, I'm gonna save up to bring him for a holiday! :D

after I've returned, have been going out like everyday. hahah. didnt really have time to rest well for at least one day, very tired. but I'm still full of energy! HEHEH. (x looking forward to ALOT ALOT of outings with my loved ones! xD

-in good time & bad times, I'll praise You. (:
whatever is for me will be for me,. (x
`MY GOD IS GOOD, & ALWAYS GOOD! :D

2008-12-12T04:34:00.001+08:00

I'M LEAVING TO VIETNAM VERY SOON. (:
wanted to upload photos & videos from my Malaysia trip but... I really got no time. I'll upload everything when I'm back then. heheh. (:

as for yesterday;
THURSDAY, 11/12/08 is a very wonderful day for me to remember. (:
met up with cheryl and chinjin, it was an early birthday celebration for cheryl. (x we had our lunch at the kopitiam opposite cine leisure then off to far east.
both of us did manicure and chinjin waited. we took about 50min long, went to shop ard after that.
it was pretty funny at the shop cheryl bought her new top.. we just finished doing manicure and must wait for 2 hours before it's fully dried, so every piece of clothing she flip must be like extremely careful. HAHAH. can picture wad I mean right. so after shopping, we walked to tangs to look ard. stayed awhile then decided to go off.
best fren wanted to treat me to the singapore flyer and tickets alrdy booked for both of us, before leaving, we decided to drag cheryl to go with us. HAHAH. it was kindda hard to convince her as she thought it was boring and didnt want to waste time. I was sitting beside her on the train, I grabbed her pouch and passed it to best fren. HAHAH! this way, she cant run away and have go with us. xP
we walked from city hall to our destination. when reached, went to the counter to collect the tickets and all the way to the flyer. I felt like as though I wasnt a singaporean, hahah. it's like de feeling of trying something new in overseas. felt like a mountain tortise.
well, at the end of the ride, it was all worth it though. (x we took quite a number of photos in the cabin and had lots of fun laughing at stupid things. HAHAHAH.
after that, went for a short drink with best fren and then home sweet home! (:

FOR CHERYL;
though it's not a very good celebration for you, still hope you enjoyed youself with us. (:
HAVE A VERY VERY VERY SWEET 18TH B'DAE KAE! BEST WISHES! <3
FOR BEST FREN;
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!! <3
hope the things I said will help you. anything, anytime, I'll be there to listen. (:

done with 3/4 of my packing now, gonna rest awhile and continue packing!

HUGS&KISSES to all that I'll miss, take care peepoo!!
PHOTOS WHEN I AM BACK! :D

-I'm Happy. (:
`You'll always be my AMAMZING God. (x

2008-12-09T03:35:00.005+08:00

HEY GUYS! (:
I am back from Malaysia! heheheh. had a really wonderful trip with my dad & bro. (x
went a total of 3 places; Genting, KL, Malacca. (:
GENTING was really really cold man. hahah. one day of Theme Park rides with bro and Happy Meals + walking ard with dad. heheh.
KL was good, bro got an adidas jacket, I got 2 tank tops from TopShop at 20% discount + LOTS of Billabong stuff. (: wanted to get myself an adidas jacket too but sadly the one I want didnt have my size there..
but THANK GOD for Malacca! HAHAH. I got the one I want at a big shopping mall new our hotel. xD heheheheh. loveeeee it sooooo much! (x
the last day which was the 7th, was also spent in Malacca. attended my Cousin's Wedding lunch before coming back to Singapore. (: first, met Peggy's youngest brother! hahah. it's been a long long time since we met each other man, like YEARS. really happy to see him and we chatted for awhile. he said that I didnt like to talk when I was young and it was a big change of me to have become so open. I was like "really meh?" hahah. couldnt remember the things that happened when I was young, was very young though. (: but it was really great meeting him. (x another thing was that the Bride has the exact same chinese name as me! (美仪) hahah, wonderful name ehh! :D & I REALLY MISSED PEGGY MY SWEETEST COUSIN!! ): didnt really get to talk to her much though, bec she was busy the whole night. but nvm, holidays arent ending very fast yet, lots of time to meet up with her! heheh. (x

*PHOTOS & VIDEOS OF MY TRIP WILL BE UPLOADED VERY SOON KAE. (x
-took ALOT ALOT of stuff. (:

*I MISSED BEST FREN & _ too! hahah. it's a must meet-up for BEST FREN! :D
will be leaving on Friday, 12th again, for those who wanna meet me please contact meeeeeee & I'll arrange a time before leaving! ((:

-really thank God for such an awesome trip man! He's always the GREAT DAD I know ever since the day I gave my life to Him. (: words cant say how thankful I am. without Him, I wouldnt have such a wonderful trip spent with my family members. He's even so faithful! (x
`I will be faithful Lord! nothing can replace You in my heart, I love my God. (x

2008-12-02T18:32:00.009+08:00

I'm gonna announce TWO THINGS;

-I realise I haven blog about my new found job to my dear readers! HAHAH. (:
okayy, I've found a tuition job recently. I'm teaching a primary two little girl. (x yesterday was my second lesson with her. she's really really chatty man! the grandfather allows me to be strict and scold her if necessary, but knowing janet, would I bare to scold? I really love children though. but I was strict lah, whenever she started talking I'll be fiercer. I think I need to be even fiercer, if not as she gets more familiar with me she'll not listen to me anymore. without further talking, I'll post her beautiful picture below! (:

-her name is Stella.

-secondly, I'll be going overseas the next two weeks. (:
1) MALAYSIA; 3RD to 8TH DECEMBER
2) VIETNAM; 12TH to 18/19TH DECEMBER
I'm gonna miss two weeks of service!! ),: but I believe these two trips are gonna be good bec we haven gone on a holiday as a family for really really long. (:

TO MY DEAREST CELL GROUP MEMBERS;
I'll surely miss you guys ALOT ALOT!! ): I pray for wonderful encounters to fall on you all the coming two services, stay happy & cheerful. most importantly, TAKE CARE guys. (x
& I'LL MISS MY DEAR SHAROL DE MOST!! HAHAH. remember to kiss me before I go, if not you're gonna miss me for many many many daysssssssssssss. HAHAHAH!! XP of cos, I wont forget to keep you in prayers, the coming two weeks, jiayou le. I'm supporting you mentally! (:

& I haven forgotten, hope you get to see it,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGNES!! (x stay sweet and lovely forever, love your smile! (:

one last video before I go, simply ♥ this song. (x

-I should let it go. (:
`I'm not afraid to fall bec I know You're always holding me.(x